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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

<sobs> Meal times turning into a nightmare...please give me some advice/hope!!

43 replies

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/08/2008 20:22

DS is just over two and was initially a reasonable eater. However, lately he is soooo fussy and picky over everything that I'm dreading meal times! He's fine with breakfast and lunch but it seems to be dinner time that's the worst meal.

He is fine with snacky type foods - cheese sandwich and the like but anything else and its meltdown! His favourite was pasta in a cheese sauce with brocoli but then he stopped eating the brocoli and now he's starting to refuse the pasta...

What to do when he's not eating? The nursery and DH have said to just take it away, not offer alternatives. However, I can't bear the thought of him going to bed hungry and I will offer something else, although not right after he's refused his food - it will be 20 mins later or so.

Also, how do you know when they are just being fussy or if they geninuely don't like something? He is refusing food on the basis of how it looks a lot of the time...

Any help appreciated!

OP posts:

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Gobbledigook · 28/08/2008 21:19

Ah, as WWW says, when they were much younger I did stick to giving them meals I knew they would eat for a good long period of time - it just reduced the stress and they were healthy things that they were eating and they did cover all the food groups so I didn't worry too much. As they've got older - say 5ish and they are at school - I've introduced more and more things but putting them on the plate with other things they like and have just said all they have to do is try them.

It's been most marked with ds1 - he eats so many things now he didn't eat before. Ds2 has always been Ok at eating. Ds3 I'm still working on - he used to hoover up anything as a baby/toddler but since about 2 he's become a real fuss-pot - exactly like ds1 did but it has got better.

jellyrolly · 28/08/2008 21:20

I got my ds1, 2.7, a set of those small steps to let him get involved. He's really fussy too, I feel your pain Puss! Having some success with rolling out puff pastry and cutting out teeny circles with a pastry cutter and letting him put toppings on. I make tomato sauce blended with veg (who doesn't hide them in there?) then he can put ham or cheese on.

The other day I asked him which pasta shapes he wanted and he reluctantly chose one, then said "it looks a bit crunchy mummy" at which point I explained that I would actually cook it first.

Gobbledigook · 28/08/2008 21:24

Bribing does not work with ds3 - if I ever say 'if you finish it you can have a biscuit' he says 'I don't want a biscuit' and just asks to leave the table (and this is from the world's biggest biscuit monster ).

Puss - like you, I home cooked all the baby food - they had lasagnes etc that they wolfed down as babies but were more picky about over the age of say 18months to 3 or 4.

Honestly, I'm coming out the other side and I know it makes you want to scream but it's honestly not worth it.

Original poster

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/08/2008 21:28

How lovely to hear that it will end though....love mnet...

Sophie - BLW is when you just give them small amounts of whatever you are eating (as long as not likely to cause allergies)...I thought they would be doing that in Italy - am surprised its purees....wow...

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gagarin · 28/08/2008 21:33

IMO it's no big deal to give him 2 "picnic style" meals/day.

It's a phase - one day he'll look up from his cheese sarnie and see you eating chilli con carne and wail - "but I want that!"

Just make the picnic meals a weird mixture and healthy-ish.

So you could do the cheese sarnie everythime plus a choice of grapes, pasta, slice of cheese on it's own, mini tomato, bread stick, cucumber, small sliver of pizza, raw carrot & a cocktail sausage.

All on the same plate, all equally as nice or nasty.

Original poster

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/08/2008 21:35

Oooh theres an idea....just a few shells of pasta with a little bit of pasta sauce along side all the other things...I'm liking that...perhaps his plate is just looking too full and unvaried that is what makes him

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RhinestoneCowgirl · 28/08/2008 21:36

Puss - with the sarnies thing, would he like to try making his own sandwich? The other day I put all the sandwich making stuff out on the table - cheese, houmous, grated carrot, bits of red pepper, a vast array of pickles (spot the pg woman!) and buttered bread for both of us. DS then got v into choosing his own sandwich fillings - he even put some grated carrot in of his own accord!

Good news about the ttc

Original poster

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/08/2008 21:37

Rhine - yes have been very busy this last week Fingers crossed for a bfp on 10th sept...but it is only the first month of ttc so must not get obsessed.....

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sophiebbb · 28/08/2008 21:37

When you mean giving them small amounts of whatever you are eating, do you mean that you puree it up for them??? My DS would gag at any lumps at first and then of course gradually took them

Re. Italy baby food - from what I have picked up (my SIL had a baby at the same time as me), her DS ate a lot of liquid food - stock with mashed up vegetables in it. Plus they buy these jars of pureed (or homogenized) meat and add that into cooked stock. So when you go to buy a jar of baby food in Italy it is hard to find "complete meals" - you find homogenized ostrich (yes really!!), or homogenized vegetable which then need to be mixed with stock, olive oil and parmesan cheese.

I have had big ideas about launching baby food into Italy and have done my research.....!

Original poster

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/08/2008 21:41

Sophie - nope. Ethos of BLW is no pureeing....it does not work for all babies though...some babies can happily gum spaghetti (even with no teeth!) but others would just gag so its all down to the individual child.

Homogenised meat?? Does it taste ok?!

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sophiebbb · 28/08/2008 21:45

Oh god, never tried it. It looked disgusting to me!!! It was funny because at first I couldn't get my head around it. There I was, in Italy seeing DS's grandparents, and wanting a jar of baby food thinking "it must be good here". All I could find were jars of individual ingredients (eg a jar of homegenized chicken or rabbit or horse - I am serious!) or a jar of mashed up veg and what I didn't realise was that you were meant to take that home and cook it up with some vegetable stock, some small pieces of pasta and maybe some cheese. I couldn't see the convenience there so just mashed up my own food.

That is why I thought Italy was ripe for some good quality convenient baby food.

Sorry if any Italians disagree with me here - I think you have some of the best food in the world - and would love to know your views if they are different!

jammydodger · 28/08/2008 21:46

My 2 year old ds2 is pretty similar - he survives on a variety of bread products (toast, croissants, bagels, etc, all with butter) and his breakfast cereal, plus plain boiled pasta. And that's it. No sauce on his pasta, no spreads on his toast etc. He'll eat a banana occasionally, and he'll drink innoncent smoothies, and those 2 things are the sum total of his fruit and veg intake! Won't eat meat or fish. It's a crap diet, but I'm refusing to stress about it. The HV told me to do the "starving" him thing, but I find it hard to send him to bed hungry..so I'm riding it out, and continuing got put tiny amounts of pasta sauce on his plate along with his plain pasta.
I live in the hope that he won't still be eating like this when he's 15!

Gobbledigook · 28/08/2008 21:46

Puss - def agree about portion sizes - that made quite a difference here too.

Also don't stress about giving picnics twice as has been said before. Mine had picnic lunch and picnic tea today - they are quite happy with it and it's varied and healthy so I don't really see the problem.

gagarin · 28/08/2008 21:47

and if you are eating at least something with him (it always make them eat more IMO) you can glance at his plate and have a little off it (making a great flourish of how it's sooo lovely you have to have it) and then offer him something from yours.

You never know he might like that too.

Original poster

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/08/2008 21:49

You know, I really feel as if a weight has been lifted

I will try that tomorrow...I actually have a packet of mini pizzas that I bought for a girly night in so and will put just one on his plate to make it all rather exiting and a nice introdution to picnic style eating and take it from there....

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Gobbledigook · 28/08/2008 21:50

Oh yes, the other thing that worked with mine is if I ate at a separate time they would come and try mine. Even now, ds3 will eat half my sandwich and it might be tuna salad. If I made him a tuna salad sandwich he would most def not eat it but he will take big bites out of mine!

When they were smaller it's how we got them to eat oranges, bananas and pears!

Original poster

PussinJimmyChoos · 28/08/2008 21:51

Sophie - think you have hit on a good thing there!!

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PavlovtheCat · 28/08/2008 21:56

jimmy!!!! (mwah btw ).

Baby pavlov does this! She goes through phases of eating/trying everything in sight, and eating like a horse then not eating anything.

Recently she went for about a month not eating anything, or mostly anything. Then she decided it would only be mushrooms!!! I worried and worried and worried, but she was drinking a ton of milk and appeared fine.

The last three days, she is eating pasta and pesto with a vengeance like she used to, but some days she acts like it is poo or something!

I measured her last week and she had grown an INCH!! So clearly not eating has not effected her growth!!!

Not much advice, but sympathies and mealtimes can be a nightmare cant they? With DD, we just waited it out thinking she would not starve herself.

Toddlers are notoriously fussy eaters as a whole, so their bodies clearly must be good at extracting the goodness they need, otherwise there would be a lot of sick children around!!!

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