Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Mummy, what's anal sex?

21 replies

ErnestTheBavarian · 25/08/2008 07:59

So asked my 7 & 8 year old ds when they skipped in from school on Friday.

I passed the buck to dh (didn't know if I should answer!) dh told them what sex was (ds 2 face was hilarious jaw-dropped picture of shock apparently) but not anal sex.

So how honest are you supposed to be? SHould I have told 7 yr old ds what anal sex is???

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 25/08/2008 08:07

Omg, I don't know what I'd have done tbh. I think I'd have been vague.

(are you ernest as was btw? And are you back with your h if so? If not, ignore me!)

TrinityRhino · 25/08/2008 08:08

goodness I would have had a problem with being completely frank about that one

Original poster

ErnestTheBavarian · 25/08/2008 08:09

yes and yes, www. Now in Bavaria, hence name.

OP posts:

WideWebWitch · 25/08/2008 08:12

Oh, ok, hello!

To answer your op, I think I'd have said "it's a type of sex" and then changed the subject. I really don't think children need details about it. But I also don't believe in lying to them. Where the hell did they hear it do you think?

Original poster

ErnestTheBavarian · 25/08/2008 08:19

14 year old girl on school bus! Half wondered about calling her mum. But didn't.

OP posts:

Original poster

ErnestTheBavarian · 25/08/2008 16:09

So what do they need to know at this age. When dh had 'the talk' ds2, eyes wide at ' the man puts his penis inside the woman' he computes this info and says 'so does that mean you've put your willy inside mummy?' OMG - I couldn't go up to say goodnight to them

seen recommendations for 'lets talk about sex' but seems to be recommended for age 10?

OP posts:

MindingMum · 25/08/2008 17:19

Sorry but I would have changed the subject too. I am all for telling children all they want to know about reproduction but would draw the line at what they don't need to know aged 7 and 8.

My DD2 (10) and i had a converastion the other day which went like this:

DD2 "Mum, you know condoms?"
ME "yes love"
DD2 "well i know what they are for and everything but... why do they make flavoured ones?"
ME (scraping myself off the floor) "well i suppose it's just novelty really"
DD2 "but what would be the point in them having a flavour?"
ME "I don't know love"
DD2 "yuck, I wonder if it's because people eat them?!!!"

AvenaLife · 25/08/2008 17:22

I'd say that they are way to young to be knowing about this. I'd have a chat with the school incase it's something that is being taught/going around.

frankiesbestfriend · 25/08/2008 17:23

I used Where Willy Went for my 7yodd Ernest, a little younger and more lighthearted than some of the other books imo.

Tigerschick · 25/08/2008 17:27

I think, like WWW, I'd have said something like "It's a kind of sex" and then changed the subject - after picking myself up off the floor, that is!

I am all for giving children information about where babies come from but I don't think that they need to know details like that when they are 7 and 8.

Snippety · 26/08/2008 12:28

Reminds me of a conversation I had with my rather sexually naive mum once a few years back. She'd recently made her first male gay acquaintance and had evidently been doing some research.

"What's cottaging ?" she asked as we sat having tea in the garden. I explained. "Does Bill do that do you suppose ?" she said. I replied that I wouldn't know. "Ah well" she said "And what is fisting exactly ?"

RhinestoneCowgirl · 26/08/2008 12:34

Snippety - that reminds me of a friend of mine (she grew up outside UK) who asked me enthusiastically if I was going cottaging in the summer

Turns up she meant renting a holiday cottage, had to put her straight on that one!

Elibean · 26/08/2008 13:11

Snippety

Have to ask: what did you tell her?!

Snippety · 26/08/2008 14:26

The awful truth !! I don't think she actually believed me. She said "Oo ! Whatever for ?!"

branflake81 · 26/08/2008 15:15

I would have told them, tbh. It's just a fact of life.

alarkaspree · 26/08/2008 15:25

My Grandma once asked me what gay men did in terms of sex. I think I told her about oral and she was horrified. God knows what she would have thought about anal sex.

I was completely mortified by the whole conversation, I was about 15. And then it turned out that she has previously asked both my dad and his brother and they had fobbed her off. Leaving her to ask me. Thanks, Dad.

AnnVan · 26/08/2008 16:22

Um ok feel a bit stupid but... what is cottaging?? (I know what Rimming is but this one's new by me?)

themildmanneredstalker · 26/08/2008 16:27

cottaging is picking up sex partners in public toilets. in america a 'cottage' is a 'tearoom'

Fizzylemonade · 26/08/2008 16:30

A reserved male friend at work (catholic virgin aged 40) asked me dead pan what a 69 was. This was in the office across the desk.

I scraped myself off the floor and said "when a man and woman love each other very much....." I was mortified to be explaining it to someone of that age.

My mother gave me a book of "where do babies come from" when I was 6 as I was asking. She couldn't handle telling me so left it to a book.

I hope that I am able to talk to my two boys open and honestly. I am trying to gain info on here on how to deal with those sorts of questions.

WilfSell · 26/08/2008 16:35

rofling at 'and what's fisting exactly?'

God. I think I'd have to just say airily (to the question what is anal sex) 'something your dad thinks he really really wants but is NEVER going to get'.

BodenGroupie · 26/08/2008 17:38

My (very sweet and naive) 12 year old asked this a few weeks back at the dinner table. DD1 asked about blow jobs when she was 9 - the only time I've ever used the "you don't need to know that yet" line. She's now 14 and admits that her friends used to get her to ask me things they couldn't ask their mums cos I was generally honest! Did upset a few mums though... Still think honesty is the best policy but within the bounds of what your child can cope with.

Flip