dd goes wild when playing with friends - help!

[Caroline5]

Dd1 (4 on Saturday) goes completely bananas whenever she has a friend round or goes to a friend's house to play. She's completely calm until they arrive/we get there, then she runs around screaming with excitement, leaping on furniture, pushing, shoving and leaping on her friend, throwing toys and generally being totally wild!! It's virtually impossible to calm her down (no discipline seems to work) and I usually end up beating a hasty retreat, or the friend's Mum makes a quick exit. I often end up trying to physically restrain her which ends up as a wrestling match ! As soon as we're alone again, she's completely calm.

I'm wondering what's going on! She is naturally quite emotional, but can play calmly on her own easily. It's just when she gets together with friends at home (she is usually fine at playgroup too). Obviously some of the other Mums are "tutting" a bit, and I hate the idea of her being viewed as a troublemaker. Any ideas anyone? Thanks!

By "physically restrain her", I mean trying to hold her sitting still on my lap while she tries to wriggle off - just in case any of you thought I meant tying her down or something!

Although i don't have to restrain my dd1 (4 in a few weeks) she too gets like your dd, i often have to shout at her for her to listen as she starts with the selective deafness, she gets very very giddy and also can come across as quite a bully as she pushes and shoves. Luckily her best friend is the same as her so his mother and i just switch off. But i do know it is very hard as you'll find some mothers tutt and shake their heads as their children are perfect and never put a foot wrong. I wouldn't worry, just explain that it's not nice to be like that and her friends won't be happy with her, she sounds like a normal 4 year old to me who has too much energy. Sorry i haven't been much help.

My dd1 was a bit like this at 3ish. I always found it harder to have people over than vice versa, particularly in the winter without the garden to spill into.

Is she the same at other peoples houses? Or try meeting somewhere neutral-park, soft play, cafe, library etc. Best of Luck.

what a relief! I thought it was just my daughter. Exactly the same way. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed as she is just being a normal exuberant 4 year old. But it does get you into difficult situations like when my dd and another got very giddy and the other girl got pushed and her mother told my daughter off (in a very reasonable and restrained way) making me feel crap firstly because it really upset my dd and secondly made me feel like a rubbish mum (even though my approach is to let them get on and sort it out themselves)and after my dd said 'mummy, you should have said something'I felt awful that I didn't stick up for her or myself. But what do you do. I tend to get anxious any time anyone comes to visit. what's the best thing to do?