Hi,
Just wanted to write this for my own reasons but also to offer hope to anyone who is at the end of their tether with a screamy/ inconsolable/ hyperactive/ grumpy / overtired baby.
As most of you on here will know by now, my ds was the grumpiest, whingiest baby I've ever met. There was never anything medically wrong with him, yet I was convinced there must have been. I took him to the doctors and tried him on reflux medication, different formulas (both of which did nothing!) I ended up in tears on Health Visitors so many times as my baby wriggled, cried and squirmed on my lap.
He was a complete misery guts from day one. He would never let me sit and cuddle him, I always had to keep him up in my arms moving, if I stopped walking he'd cry, if I put him down he'd cry. He'd scream in the pram, sob in the car seat, rejected feeds, even when on solids.
I could never ever sit and enjoy him. He cried for seemingly no reason, was very over sensitive to noise/ new people/ new environments. Everything semed to bother him and although he met all his milestones early and could smile and laugh, he mostly just frowned and scowled at people!
I really thought there was something medically/ mentally wrong with him and cried so many times with him crying as I paced up and down my kitchen with the extractor fan on trying to soothe him with white noise. He seemed to get so overstimulated by everything and became so over tired in the day that he'd just meltdown. Thank God he always slept well at night or else I think I would have gone completely loopy.
DH is a fantastic daddy and was very supportive and helped as much as possible but works 12 hour days so I was alone with ds a lot. I was miserable and isolated. Anyway, after posting so many times on here, I found people with similar stories to tell and eventually realised that he wouldn't be a baby forever and things would change.
Well, ds turned 1 last week and just to offer a tiny bit of hope to anyone who is struggling, THINGS DID CHANGE! Very very slowly. There was no one day when ds woke up and was suddenly happy and smiley, it happened so very gradually. He lightened up dramatically after he'd perfected crawling. Settled even more when he could cruise, he walks (in an odd stumbley fashion!) now and is getting easier and more of a joy everyday.
He naps well in the day and settle himself at night. He eats very very well (after a nightmare with weaning!) and just makes me laugh every day. He smiles and laughs most of the day and although he knows how to throw a pretty good tantrum when he doesn't get his own way, he is a complete delight and so much happier than I ever believed he could be.
I was terrified he'd be a miserable, unhappy, unsociable child. I was so wrong. He is happy to go to new people (in his own time). Last week my Health Visitor came round to do his 12 month check and with in 5 minutes of her arriving he's staggered over to her and was offering her his book and beaming up at her, then proceeded to raid through her bag and rumage through her papers! She actually commented on how friendly he was. I never ever thought that I would hear a compliment about my ds' behaviour.
I guess the reason I'm writing this is for anyone out there who is feeling how I felt and to say that the baby stage is over with so quicky, although it sometimes feels like the days are endless, things do get better. There seemed to be constant ups and downs with my ds, just as we thought one area with him was sorted, another problem would arise. I hated being around other mums as they just seemed to be finding so easy and I struggled for a long time almost being house bound as ds cried so much I was embarrassed to go anywhere.
Just wanted to thank every single person who took the time to reply to my posts and everyone who sympathised and offered their support. So many people who offered me hope and understanding, Bodkin, Kittywise, Mrs Mattie, Suzi2, Baby Isaac, Laksa, Twinkleymum to name but a few!
Thank you so much for making the first 9 months of my son's life bearable. Even around the 9 month stage, I was still regularly in tears with him. He seemed so different from anyone elses babies and was just so high needs and needed constant movement and stimulation but too much stimulatiom amd he's scream. It was like walking a tightrope everyday.
Anyway, Joseph is now a 'totally adorable, friendly little charmer' (quoting my Health Visitor!). I never thought I'd feel what I feel for him now and although I feel guilty for not enjoying his babyhood, I am so glad that it's coming to an end and he turning into the most wonderful, spirited little toddler.
My theory is that he was just raring to go and very frustrated. He has a lot to say and babbles away all day long. Instead of screaming, he points at what he wants now. He is so so responsive and goes to get things like his shoes or his cup when I ask him to, he feeds himself with a spoon so all the meal time problems have vanished. He has the most adorable, infectious laugh and is such a fantastic little child.
There is light at the end of the tunnel although just a few months ago I would never have believed the gorgeous little boy my grumpy baby is becomming.