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Clingy Baby

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JenniW · 04/02/2003 01:24

Since my husband was made redundant in November, my daughter(now six months old) has had both parents at home sharing play, feeding, nappy changing duties etc. and thorougly enjoying the attention!

She is generally an incredibly happy baby but will not settle for any length of time with anyone other than me (and this includes my husband), becoming more and more distraught until she is sweating and seems to be breathing with difficulty because the sobbing becomes so heavy. This only stops when she is passed to me, at which point she quietens almost immediately, even though I am not offering a feed as a "bribe".

Whilst I can't deny that this makes me feel very special, it upsets my husband and causes him to feel rejected by the baby girl he loves so much. It is also preventing me from enjoying much time to myself because I know what sort of state she can get into.

As a couple, we have only had one night out together since her birth and she cried for almost the whole time. Unsurprisingly, we are reluctant to try again on the grounds that if my husband is not able to comfort our daughter - especially having been such a large presence in her life - then how will a babysitter? More worryingly, how will a childminder when I return to work in a month? (My husband is actively seeking employment so could have returned to work himself by then).

She's only be six months old and I don't want to do anything that might be interpreted as rejection. That said, I would rather try to nip any potentially manipulative behaviour on her part in the bud!

I'm sure that this is probably the paranoia of a new Mum but any suggestions or advice, particular from those who might have been in a similar position, would be gratefully received.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
ScummyMummy · 04/02/2003 01:51

Hi JenniW. This all sounds v normal to me. They just love tyheir mums at that age- enjoy it while you can! Don't think it's paranoia at all- so scary when you venture back into the world sans baby, I found- but it will iron itself out in time. In the meanwhile it may be worth making sure that your husband gets some time alone with your daughter at her "best" time of day- ie when well fed and not too tired- and then things may go better. Don't think she's being manipulative but neither do I believe that she'll feel rejected if you and your husband take some time out for yourselves. Almost never a bad idea in the long term, I'd say, but go with what you want to do and reassure your bloke that it's a normal stage and one of these days she may grow into complete daddy's girl. Gutting when they first transfer their affections but it does fluctuate back and forth, IME. Btw- have you found a childminder yet? Might be worth checking some out asap if you haven't because it can often be quite hard to find the right one as I'm sure you know...

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