15mo ds pushing / hitting other child in playground

[allergictohousework]

I don't know what to do, any ideas please? my ds has a lovely temperament though getting a bit frustrated at the moment when things don't go his way. Plays really well "with" other children of different ages but today simply could not share the house in the playground with another boy his own age and size. Other boy was not in his space, hitting or pushing, in fact was quite a gentle wee soul and clearly distressed by pushy behaviour of my ds. I told ds twice to stop what he was doing and then came to sit next to him, then he very forcefully shoved his hand full on into other boy's face at which point I removed him from the house and was cross with him. I was quite suprised that he can be so aggressive, particularly without any provocation. He's been pushed about a bit by a 2.5 yo "friend" so am wondering whether this is learnt behaviour and if so I can get him to unlearn it. He seems a bit young yet for naughty step type responses? All advice appreciated! Thank you

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I have posted a similar message about my DD who is nearly 3. The great thing about the age of your DS is you can distract him fairly easily. DD used to do this occassionally at this age. I would just keep saying no and steer him away from the child or situation. I know its difficult and I really sympathise but if its any comfort they all do it.

At 15m I wouldn't worry about it, loads of them do it (dd1 used to push at this age)

I think distraction is the key

I think it's pretty normal. They are so young that I'm not sure that they really know what they're doing. Often they're touching (they touch everything) but don't realise how hard they're doing it or not to do it to someone's face.

All you can do is say 'no' and distract him with something.

I posted on micegg's thread.

My DS1 was about this age when he started to become a real handful - tantrums and pushing other children. I found it really hard to deal with, but found that just trying to tell myself over and over that it's not "aggressive" behaviour per se - I really don't think such little children have any malice in them, or any real understanding of cause and effect.

Hence my decision not to use any sort of naughty step (not really my thing anyway, but might have done it if I thought it would work). I have gone with just ignoring as much as possible, intervening where unavoidable (eg if he actually knocks another child over), very concise language ("No pushing!") and giving attention to the child who has been hit/pushed. And as much good, positive attention as I could give DS1 in the meantime.

This approach was working, until DS2 showed up - but we are persevering, and he has started to improve again (DS2 is 5 months).

I don't know about the learnt behaviour thing - I am not aware of DS1 having learned it in the way you describe, but am sure it's possible, they're little sponges at that age. I think, hard as it is to accept, this is normal toddler behaviour, and I think the most one can do is to mitigate it as much as possible with a calm (very difficult!) and consistent approach.

Sorry, probably no help at all - but you have my sympathies, and you are SO not alone. Good luck!