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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help , what can I do about wee soaked start-rites ??

45 replies

mummyloveslucy · 02/08/2008 19:49

Well the hedding says it all really.
My daughter is 3.5 and potty training (not with a great deal of sucess). We diched the day nappies 6 months ago. Every time she has an accident it soaks in to her shoes.
She has only had these start-rite classic shoes for 3 weeks and already they smell like a public toilet.
I'd be realy greatful for any tips or advice. Thanks.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 03/08/2008 20:46

You're right actually, my health visitor told me not to worry about her speech and delayed us seein the SALT. She does seem to have a very, don't worry everything will be fine kind of approach. I'll ask the SALT, although she's a bit like that too.
I could speek to the doctor I suppose.

OP posts:

NoBiggy · 03/08/2008 20:56

I'd put them in the washing machine, in a washing bag or tied-up pillow case. Because, how much worse can it get?

Stuff them with paper while they dry.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 03/08/2008 20:59

I think that would totally ruin them. They would shrink and the glue would probubly un stick in the linning.
I might e-mail start-rite to ask them.

OP posts:

onwardandupward · 03/08/2008 21:24

Is 3.5 really an age old enough to be exploring with professionals whether a child has a physical problem with elimination? Surely 3.5 is still WELL within the bounds of normal for not being toilet-ready yet?

RuffleTheAnimal · 03/08/2008 21:25

dunno. had to bin ds2's a couple of times.
bleurgh

RuffleTheAnimal · 03/08/2008 21:27

eh? 3.5 and wetting herself? thats completely ok if you ask me. (not that you were) but seriously... 3.5 is really v young. the wee-soaked shoes i slung out were for 3.5yo ds2.

noonki · 03/08/2008 21:51

completely normal to be wetting herself at 3.5 -

jsut remind her a bit more, and don't put her in nappies in the day as she will get confused

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 03/08/2008 23:19

It's because she has other issues as well. She has a severe speech disorder and co-ordination difficulties. I just want to be on the safe side really.

OP posts:

ReallyTired · 03/08/2008 23:30

Sorry if this is a silly question, have you tried bribary?

With my son I stopped nagging him to use the potty and told him that he would habe a chocolate button for every wee and poo in the potty. When he had his accidents I just said, "never mind, next time do a wee in the potty and you will get your piece of chocolate"

Does your daughter 100% understand what she has to do. My son's speech at three and half was awful because he was deaf. Prehaps its worth finding practical ways to explain what to do.

I also got my son a doll that wees from Woolworth. He had fun potty training dolly.

I also got this book for my son
toilet learning

It is a picture book that explains exactly how to use the toilet. Unlike some other books it doesn't pussy foot. Its american so some of the language is strange.

onwardandupward · 04/08/2008 10:58

From the outside, and of course we only have a tiny bit of information about your situation, it sounds as if you are pushing your daughter to be out of nappies before she is really ready because you feel under pressure from her nursery teachers to have her "clean and dry". Is that it? Because surely going at your daughter's pace in life, even if that's slower in various ways than the average, is more important than the convenience of some people you pay to look after her during the day (to put it bluntly).

I might be totally off base here, I'm just interpreting what you've said in this thread, so if I've got it all wrong please don't be furious! But if there is a grain of truth in this, then please please respond to your DAUGHTER'S needs, not to society's expectations of what the average 3.5 year old ought to be doing.

ReallyTired · 04/08/2008 11:28

I don't think that many of the posters understand the stress mummyloveslucy are under.

Society can have a very weird attitude to development delay/ disablity. People are terribly sympathetic to the fact that my son wore hearing aids, they were sympathetic when he had problems learning to walk and had to wear orthorics. I found that when my son's speech was delayed people thought he was stupid.

My son was lucky in that he had no major problems in toilet training. Although he had a little friend who was very late. The poor boy had a medical problem which made his stools very loose. This meant he had zero bowel control. The state nusery refused to clean him up and humilated him by forcing him to stand in a corner covered in poo until his mum came.

Many nurseries and schools (state or private) have harsg attitude to incontinence. Ie. the child and mother are considered to be lazy, dirty or stupid. Especially when it comes to being clean.

A child who is late aquiring these skills deserves the same level of sympathy and professional help as my son when he could not walk at two years old.

mummyloveslucy must feel dammed if she does and dammed if she doesn't. She wants the best for her daughter. It is a wretched situation and hard for everyone.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 04/08/2008 15:59

Thanks reallytired. It is true.
Today we went to a cafe and Lucy had another accident. She just stood there unaware, and then looked down and said "oo, swimming pool". There were people looking over and I heard someone tut. It dosn't help that she is so tall. She looks about 4.5. I wish people were a bit more understanding.

OP posts:

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 04/08/2008 16:04

Oh and I would be furious is a nursery left her covered in poo like that. How awful, that has got to be boardering on child abuse acctually. poo can burn the skin. The poor little chap. I hope his mum complained to ofsted etc.

OP posts:

ReallyTired · 04/08/2008 16:09

I know they are expensive but these cloth training pants are really nice

www.naturebotts.co.uk/shop/trainingpants/bumpytrainerpants/index.htm

They hold about one wee and feel like kickers.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 04/08/2008 16:47

Thanks ReallyTired, I've had a look but they don't go up big enough for her.

OP posts:

ReallyTired · 04/08/2008 17:01

How much does Lucy weigh. The largest goes up to 25 kg. (ie. the weight of my slightly overweight 6 year old)

Surely they would fit

www.imsevimse.co.uk/shop.pab?category=75&id=716

You can use the drop down to select the size you want

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 04/08/2008 17:09

She is 3 stone. I'm not sure about kg.
They said up to 3-4 years and she is the hight/ weight of a 4.5 year old. If they go up that big them that would be great for her. Thanks.
Those organic ones look ideal.

OP posts:

MsDemeanor · 04/08/2008 19:14

My son who has dyspraxia was not out of daytime pullups until he was four. I think for both your sakes - andthe sake of her shoes! - she needs to be in pullups. The school needs to respond to her needs. Poor thing is only three. Believe me, I know how stressful it is when your child is 'late'.

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 04/08/2008 19:24

I think I will do that when we go out. It's not fair for her or me to be judged like that when she has an accident. At home, she dosn't need to wear shoes.

OP posts:

MsDemeanor · 04/08/2008 21:33

Good! Give both of you a break, eh?
It's not a failure. Her body just isn't ready.

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