I am desperate! Please help save my sanity!!!!!!

[mads1]

Please can I hear your ideas on how to get through dinners, bathtime,milk and bedtime with baby (5 weeks old) and preschooler ( 3yeats old). Baby still not really on routine but generally needs a feed around 4.30/5 and then again at 7 ish? I think!

Today was hurrendous (did I spell that right?). Dd2 basically cried through the whole of dd1 bath time. She was tired and I think wanted a feed.

I am now getting to melt down point and am ready to throw in the towel. Please can I hear your advice/ideas.

I can't help much, but that was the hardest time for me. THere is a three yr gap between my two, and the first 6 months of baby's life were the worst.

Getting a stairgate so that 3 yr old couldn't go into the kitchen helped. That way I could leave the baby in there, protected from 3 yr old! while I went upstairs or to the bathroom. That really helped.

But OLDER child will wail or request something the very second you sit down to feed baby. That really used to wear me out.

Looking back I should have carried out my threats to put dc1 in to her cot if she didnt' stop poking me and knocikng baby accidentally on purpose while I was feeding baby. BUT I think if I'd carried out the threat it would have nipped a pattern in the bud.

How old is DC2 now. Hope things have settled and are easier for you!

Have to say, dd1 is very good with dd2.touch wood!

Oh the horrendous nightmare "hour" (loosely called an hour... more like 2- 2 1/2).

Do you eat with DD1? What time is bathtime? Is there a MrMads?

I seem to recall lots of eating with DS latched on, or sitting with DD whilst she ate, I fed, and then me & DH ate later.

Bath time I think we probably did tag team. Is bath before bed an essential thing, or could you do it midday during a nap? DD loves daytime baths and it is something special you can do with her whilst DD2 is asleep.

I did find my sling the best thing in the world though for getting stuff done.

he is 2 and a half. And recently they play together and laugh. It is hard, but it will get easier. Just tell yourself that!

put both in bath at same time. much earlier. for a while we were doing baths at 5.30pm.1hr after dinner. letting older one stay up till normal time farting about in pj's for a bit longer than normal.

gradually we pushed it back as baby got older.

I agree with Cukoo and elmoandella

My two are 15 mths apart (DS 23 mths DD 8 mths)

They get up at the same time, I try to feed them at the same time (have always tried to coordinate a feed with lunch and supper for DS)

And they have a bath together.

They were going to bed at the same time, after a story and a feed (both!) but now DS comes back downstairs with me for stories on his own and feed on his own (bottle) before going up to brush his teeth.

It seems to give him a sense of independence and some time with mummy that otherwise is just about him witnessing my time with a baby.

yeah we always put wee one to bed. then had some quiet time in our pj's with older one.

I had a 3yo and 16mo when I had ds2 and agree that the tea - bedtime bit is the pits [understatement].

I coped with it for the first few weeks (up to about 9/10 wks, I think, when the evening bfing settled down) by reducing the older dcs routine to a minimum.

Baths only happened once or twice a week at most and I often ended up sitting on the loo seat feeding ds2 while they splashed. Towelling dressing gowns help too as you can just let them dry off while wrapped up.

I used to bf ds2 while doing the older ones storytime too - they cuddled up on each side as I was sat on the bed.

Teatime standards dropped so I did a lot of fresh pasta and sauces with frozen veg, if I was cooking I did double quantities so I could freeze half, pizza, fish fingers, sausage and mash, etc. Anything that took minimal preparation and could cook with little input from me so I could bf.

Or I did the main meal at lunchtime so I could just do toast/sandwiches etc at teatime.

If you can get a sling that you can bf in (Coorie is one) then it's possible to do the whole tea/bath/bed bit while bfing.

Just do what you absolutely have to to survive the next few weeks. A few weeks of less than perfect food won't do your dd1 any harm, neither will being a bit grubby!

This bit will be over very soon, in a few weeks dd2 will have settled into more of a pattern and everything becomes so much easier.

is you dp around at all?

if he's around in morning but not at night you could change bath time till morning.

i'm not keen on this as i like it for winding ds down. but i have a friend who does this.

is there a DH or DP who can help - My DH gets DS1 (3.7) ready, toothbrushed, story etc when i am feeding DS2 (12weeks) then we go up to kiss him goodnight - if DS2 is asleep then i try to do bedtime routine too. I tend to bath DS1 in the day when DS2 has had a feed and has fallen asleep.

Its not easy is it? all the days roll into one for me and now without nurser, i have no idea where i am!!! My auntie asked my DS1 on the phone today "whose birthday is it on monday?" I had to ask her - oops - it's mine - i had forgotten!lol

*nursery

hi all! I guess I do just need to switch a few things round and ease up on some too I.e meals for dd1. Yes dh is around for probably half the week and that's when we divide and conquer!
With regards to bf. I can only to it with cushions all around me and holding dd2 in the rugby style hold. This adds to the problem haven't really thought about sling. I always afraid that slings make the baby too clingy.

Thank you for your advice xx