How do you stop the fiddling with stuff? Please, please please help. I feel really quite murderous.

[ThatBigGermanPrison]

I have just had to leave every single shop I have been in because ds1 wouldn't stop touching. he's missed out on ice creams becausde he wouldn't stop touching.

I spent TOTAL 30 minutes shopping, and 2 hours in the park in between.

threats don't work.

bribes don't work

explaining how his constant fiddling is making my life hell doesn't work.

Explaining that if he keeps touching things the staff will tell him off doesn't work.

Removing him from the shop works - until I try to go back in.

I just wanted to have a little look in a new shop that has opened in town. That's all I wanted. I managed to buy some cheap school uniform in the right size from there.

He's five - really am I expecting too much? I feel like I must be - he cannot seem to stop. He moves in a different way to other children, they seem to pick stuff up after they have seen it, and look at it, then either ask for it or put it down. Ds1 seems to see with his fingers - everything he passes, he touches.

I feel like shaking him sometimes and it doesn't help that I am exhausted today, but had to take them out or I won't sleep tonight.

I hate to say it, but I am starting to resent him because of his behavior. The only place I can take him is the park. We can't eat out anywhere - he won't sit down at all, spills things, and makes inappropriate comments to other diners (I'm talking MacDs here, not the ritz.) We can't go into shops because it makes be feel like screaming -

Is this normal? It it me, do I have terminally bad patience with something all five year olds do?

I never see anyone else behaving like that.

Surely it's his 2 year old brother who's supposed to be a nuisance to take out? The poor child misses out on so much that we just can't do because of ds1's behavior.

Is it normal? Do I just need to get a fucking grip?

Dear OP

I recommmend, going to your GP or paed for referral to an occupational therapist which specialises in "Sensory Integration".

Google "Hopscotch" or "Maximum Potential" both in London W1 to get an idea of the sort of thing I mean.

If your DS has sensory integration problems, (and it sounds like he does); the OT can construct a programme for him that will make a noticebale difference to his behviour within months.

The earlier you do this the better as it doesn'always improve with age. Also, schools get less tolerant of this sort of behaviour the older the child gets.

You're not mad or bad. You are coping with a lot and you're probably doing an excellent job too. Seek help.

Good Luck

My DS1 touches everything in the shops but he is only nearly 4 and I think it is just curiosity for him. "You look with your EYES not your Fingers!" is a constant refrain in every shop and TBH I avoid small shops with lots of breakable things like the plague, as his younger brother is starting to copy him....

All due respect Ruddynorah, but I doubt op would be as exasperated as she is if this were a simple case of a child "touching all the lovely things" like mum.