tell me about your 7/8 year old...mine driving me bonkers...

[frazzledfairy]

finding ds1 such hard work

one minute he is a delight, kind, thoughful, just lovely. the next minute he is awful, so rude and argumentative, answers back, can't seem to do anything he is asked without a huge argument.

he is bringing out a side of me i never knew existed, i just feel such...rage, for want of a better word.

dh and i are at a loss, we feel like we are failing him.

my patience is virtually non existent, also have ds2 (23 months) and dd (9 months), dd has not been well and is waking up at night and i have arthritis and am having a flare up so in pain alot.

is your ds/dd a nightmare too? if so how do you cope, ie not throttle them?! we have tried reward charts/pasta jar stuff and none of it seems to help.

tia

Sounds like my 8yo, too (although he's better & better, but a yr ago, he was dreadful).

I'm not convinced about pasta jars, not at 8yo, certainly.
Not losing my temper is my big goal, too.

I don't really have a solution except what seems to help is to keep doing all the right parenting things, and eventually it hammers thru to their thick skulls.

Hi my 8 year old ds2 is being a nightmare at the moment. Hes so stubborn and just doesnt listen to anything hes told. I have to ask him over and over to do things. He answers back which drives me completely nuts. Today he has had his nintendo ds and tv taken away because at a friends he pushed a 1 year old for knocking down a tower he was building, I went spare!! Do find it hard to discipline now they getting older, nothing seems to work.

Sounds like 8 yr olds - mine has only been 8 for a week but he can be a bit of a Jeykll and Hyde.

I don't think rewards charts would work with mine either - I think they have grown out of it. Restriction of liberties/choices seems the only way reenforced with praise for good behaviour.

I bought a book recently Talking to Tweenies I haven't read it yet (I think now may be the time though!) but it comes recommended from somewhere, probably MN. Might be worth a look.

hi frazzled

mine was the same, just awful from about aged 6...really bad around 8, but when he turned 9, he was much better.
I totally understand what you mean about the rage you feel
it will get better, I promise - my DS now even smiles and hugs me again!
sorry to hear about your arthritis - must be hard with three DCs...

Ds2 is 8 and he is a delight and really easy but that is because he is dc3! Ds1 when he was 8, 9 10 11 12 and now 13 brings out emotions in me that I also never knew were there!!! When he is being nice he is truely wonderful and when he isn't I can't stand him, luckily it doesn't last long!
Have just been on hols with friends who both are also first children (Dh and I are both dc2) and they say he exhibits all the same characteristics as they did, and is quite normal for the first born.
Good luck though, I do know how wearing it is.