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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Throwing things..

25 replies

Donbean · 04/02/2005 19:21

Ds is 19 months now and has been throwing things at peoples faces for some weeks.
Its really confusing to him what is acceptable and whats not acceptable to throw.
For exsample he has ball pond balls and we play with them by throwing them to each other, this is okish.
He throws books toys and his water cup.
He throws food over the side of his high chair.
i seem to yell "no" at his 100 times a day and it is getting wearing.
Can you suggest an alternative for "no" ?
Can you suggest ways to stop him from throwing stuff?
Can you offer any advice at all on how to cope with the behaviour of a 19 month old.
He is perfectly normal i know this but im reaching the end of my tether and really want to smack him im so mad with him some days.
Obviously i dont want to do this but im not ashamed to say that im struggling.

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Frizbe · 04/02/2005 19:24

we've been trying the pack exclusion thing with dd when she lobs things over the side of the high chair, we just turn her to face the wall for a minute or two and don't talk to her, she seems to be getting the message.....might be worth a go?

Original poster

Donbean · 04/02/2005 19:27

Ive tried this and im not sure if its worked.
He gets to the phone and frantically presses the keys (hmmm childline perhaps???)then as i approach he throws the bloody thing at me. I put him into his high chair, strap him in and turn him to the wall telling him that the phone isnt for him.
I cannot leave him in the room alone at all ever.
please help me...........
(we are moving the phone out of his reach this weekend)

OP posts:

Clayhead · 04/02/2005 19:30

My ds is 17 months and also throws everything.

dd did this too at about the same age. She stopped but I can't remember when!!

I think it's just one of those awful phases you have to live through. I am just sayin 'No throwing', 'Not kind to throw' all those type of boring things. I think he just thinks I'm funny...

starlover · 05/02/2005 10:00

it's a phase... all children do it, it's called "casting"
It's just one of those weird developmental things that the little dears do!
after all, can you think of anything more fun than throwing things and getting mummy to pick them up over and over and over again????? thought not!

i would take things away if he is throwing them at your face on purpose though!

Original poster

Donbean · 05/02/2005 14:42

oooh, a title for my thug
could you tell me if this "casting" desription is from a book you have read, i would like to read a bit more up on this.
I think i will try to google it and see what i can come up with.

OP posts:

colditzmum · 05/02/2005 14:45

Any thing he throws at you, take it away and NEVER GIVE IT BACK!!!!!

No, it doesn't work on my son either, but at least then I get a variety of things thrown at me.

He threw a scotch egg on the floor once and started kicking it!

MunchedTooManyMarsLady · 05/02/2005 14:47

DT2 11mo has been throwing things for the last few weeks. I think it's because he can. No ideas for you though sorry, but it is frustrating (esp when it lands on DT1)

Original poster

Donbean · 05/02/2005 14:48

Im sorry to laugh but you have just made me laugh ot loud at the scotch egg. At the time you are fuming arent you....but it is funny when you think about it. sorry

OP posts:

colditzmum · 05/02/2005 22:55

Oh no Donbean, I howled with mirth, He was so convinced it was a ball! I told him to stop kicking it and bite it, and he gave me this deeply suspicious look......

starlover · 06/02/2005 22:23

donbean, i think i have read about casting in a couple of different books, but couldn't tell you what they were off the top of my head!
it's definitely a known-about developmental phenomena though... shall see if i can find any web pages that mention it

bobbybob · 06/02/2005 22:58

Ds get lifted up in silence and carried to his cot. Just before I leave I fix him with a look and say "no throwing cup/toast/plate" - just once no details. I then shut the door and go and have a glass of water. Then I go and get him, and say "why are you here?" "throwing mummy" "Would you like to do something else" playing toys mummy".

If he throws something and immediately says "no throwing" himself then I just go and have the glass of water and then say "would you like to do something else now?"

He is getting it slowly.

I would be specific about what he is not to throw. So "no throwing the phone", rather than just "no". This should help with the confusion with the ball.

shrub · 06/02/2005 23:30

i thought it was called 'vertical scheming' - try googling piaget and schemas. the child will do this to understand movement and gravity, my ds1 did this for over a year and my ds2 (20months) is just starting. a way of utilising the phase is to give them lots of foam balls, water play, wheeled toys etc.
i bought a wooden marble run from a make called 'pino- lino' it has extra large marbles so no choking risk.
ds1 had a lovely nursery teacher who explained all this to me and gave all the above suggestions to help. said its very common and there are lots of different types of schemas.

MamaMaiasaura · 06/02/2005 23:33

Colditiz mum... did you manage not to laugh?

Donbean, they kind of just learn.. esp from other kids (when done back at them!).. but.. Doesnt stop them when they are older and in a paddy. Ds (5) today was an overtired monkey.. after stropping with his toys he looks at me with this hard, rather largerer than average power ball in his hand ( calmly say please dont even think about throwing that.. too late! So i take it and say i told you not too, now it is gone. You would have thought i had beheaded action man or something cos boy did he holler! He did calm down and tried to tell me he half threw it accidently (yeah right), bless him.

ThomCat · 06/02/2005 23:34

It's called casting and my DD does it a lot. It has im proved but she still does it, it drives you mad, I sympathise. He'll grow out of it eventually, sorry, but there's really not much else you can do.

Blackduck · 07/02/2005 06:43

Oh what a relief! My ds does this too....pain in the a*re when its a beaker half full of milk....!

ThomCat · 07/02/2005 11:13

That why Lottie still drinks from a lidded beaker!
She's a nightmare for flinging drinks.

Marina · 08/02/2005 09:34

I'm glad it's not just mine. She tossed a plate against the wall yesterday and broke it ( yes I know but I'd got so fed up of melamine) and can take a grown adult out at 20 paces with a well-aimed Anyway Up Cup. Lid or no lid ThomCat these girls are lethal
Apart from the plate incident I must admit I cannot help laughing. They look so stern when they do the chucking and then so pleased with themselves afterwards...

Choccers · 14/02/2005 20:57

I'm relieved to find this conversation as I was going to start it myself! My dd is 16 months and has been throwing food from 10 months. (Dh is ready to move out, and come back sometime after she's finished doing puberty.) I deal with it most days by taking away whatever food is left,so she can't chuck any more, saying 'no throwing' calmly and assuming that the meal is over. It does seem to happen when she's either had enough or has decided against the dish of the day.But I'm not always so calm because it looks so deliberately naughty, and today I was very tired and I'm very ashamed to say I lost it and slapped her hand (first time ever).

Bigmumma · 04/03/2005 21:38

Sorry to make you all feel crappy but my DS is 3 yrs 3 months and he has been throwing since he was about 8 months' old. He's especially worse when I take him to soft play areas. Another mum had me in tears when I heard her saying to her friend that that boy over there was "nasty" as he was sitting in the ball pit throwing balls at all the other children. He threw a wooden brick at pre-school the other day and it hit a child on the head. Throwing is a real problem here especially as we now have another DS who is 5 months' old and I'm worried one day he will really hurt someone. People keep saying to us we should put him forward to be a fast bowler in cricket!

mummylonglegs · 05/03/2005 13:35

Somehow or other we mostly escaped this with dd, now 2.5, until she's started going to a childminder 2 mornings a week with a little boy, 2.6, who throws things continually and often dangerously. Because she's a bit older I'm trying to categorise what she can and can't throw and perhaps most importantly that throwing indoors is not allowed and throwing at someone else is also not allowed. That pretty much narrows it down to balls outside!

jabberwocky · 05/03/2005 13:59

Yep, same here. ds is 18 months. I let him throw balls since he can't throw them hard enough to really hurt anything. So when he throws something else I say "Is this a ball?" Answer "No"
"Well, we only throw balls. If you throw it again it goes in time-out." Of course, he pretty much always does it again and then the toy goes in time-out for a day.

Nemo1977 · 05/03/2005 14:09

my ds is 16mths and when he is angry will throw things at you such as his cup etc. I think its pretty normal and i tend to do a time out on spot so that he is ignored while doing it.

Lonelymum · 05/03/2005 14:11

My ds3 (aged 2) does this a lot. I made the mistake of praising him once when he threw something with perfect accuracy on to a shelf - it truly amazed me as children his age usually throw and the object flies off in any direction but his throw was as straight and as accurate as yours or mine would be. I went on and on to dh about how he might turn out to be a talented sportsman and clearly he understood he had done something clever. Boy how I regret saying all that now as he throws everything all the time and looks at me as if to say "Hey Mum, did you see that throw? That was clever wasn't it?"

The moral of the tale? Show disapproval from the very first throw and hopefully they will get the message before they reach the stage of thinking they are the next Olympic javellin thrower.

Sorry, Donbean, I know that doesn't help you at all. Just had to get it off my chest.

sizeofahouse · 14/03/2005 21:03

My DS nineteen months, is also throwing lots. One thing that has worked is when he throws bricks into the fireplace over the guard I get the plastic brick bag and we put them all away straight off - I always do it and he now when he throws the brick gets the bag himself, sweet boy. Food is a real dilemma, and he throws his cup so hard, not sure quite what we're doing on that one. Its tough for them because some things they can throw and some things not, I try not to worry too much unless its again stuff like bricks into the kitchen and then we put them away together. I did the worse thing the other week though, after worrying about him throwing his dinner on the floor plate and all he drove me so mad for a minute I threw it myself and it was pasta and cheese sauce and all sorts of veg, shite! My excuse is I'm eight months pregnant myself

MHMum · 05/04/2010 18:47

Hi, just thought I'd add that my 18 month old DS does this too. It's always reassuring to see that other people have the same problem! I think we'll just try and be consistent in saying 'no' and taking things away when it's not appropriate and hope he learns! The experiment continues....

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