Want to give ds (4.5) pocket money - how?

[TracyK]

dh and I are are disagreeing on this subject.

I thought £4 a week would be fair. dh thinks too much and ds too young to get the 'concept' of money - I think - this is the way to teach him

He always asks/gets sweets or comics when we are out and about and I thought if he saw his £4 counting down each time we bought something - he would understand my purse isn't bottomless iykwim.

Is £4 too much? A slush puppie/ice cream/go gos are all £1 each - so I thought £4 wouldn't last long!

Maybe £4 is a bit much - I couldn't decide what to give him - so thought £1 for each year of his life. Maybe £2 is more like it. Since he still has £2 left and no real opportunity to spend it before Sat comes round again.

I completely agree - ds DOES expect these things as a matter of course when we go into town. I am probably compensating for feeling guilty at putting him into nursery. I do also feel that I quite like to have an ice cream or a packet of crisps after a hard days work and certainly wouldn't deny myself so why him!
He eats loads of healthy food at other times of the day and his snacks never get in the way of his main meals.

well you could work it so that you buy him an icecream when you feel like it, but if he wants toys / magazines then he can use his pocket money

I think it is still nice to show generosity and 'treat' them sometimes
if you are providing large amounts of pocket money you have done yourself out of the chance of doing that, in a way

Franny, I agree! Mine dc's only get to the shops maybe once a week.
And as for my miniature Ebeneezer Scrooge - he sits there endlessly counting out his money, mumbling away. Mind you, it works! He saved up for a Nintendo DS!!

I don't suppose the actual amount is THE most important thing - I think if pocket money is helping children to

Learn the relative value of money
Learn to discriminate (eg what they REALLY want or can do without)
Learn to save toward something
Learn to have a little bit of independence and control and to value their own opinion

then it's fine and it's ok if that is with a smaller or slightly larger amount of money. My thoughts I guess are that at 10 or 20p, or equally at say £20 a week, you're not getting the opportunity for pocket money to teach them these things. I mean, 20p a week doesn't give you much chance to make choices, and neither does having the money to buy any toy that takes your fancy!

Franny good point about not being able to treat if they are buying everything for themselves

But I suppose I think that if DD goes for example to the childrens festival and we have lunch out then that is her treat that I wouldn't expect her to pay for, but I can see where you are coming from

Ooh, well done your ds girlandboy, that's quite some saving!!!

One thing I also thought, I already expect dd to help tidy, etc and probably wouldn't make that a condition either way of pocket money as everyone pulls their weight. I would probably be happy with her doing 'extra' things that are beyond the normal if she wanted to save for something. I remember as a child cleaning out every cupboard in the kitchen to save for my first Sindy doll .

I think 4 is far to young to understand pocket money, but that's just my opinion, even when he see's it going down, he won't understand, unless you are going to say no you can't have anything else till next weeks pocket money, you are just wasting your time anyway

We give each child the same amount in pounds as years of their age per month, paid into a building society account, which after 7 they can operate themselves. This means my fourteen year-old has £14 a month! Not sure how much longer we will get away with this but really mine don't need a lot of money as food, lodging and clothing are provided and they have loads of toys etc.

This all started as a bribe to get ds to go to nursery without whining each day - cos on a Friday he got to go to the shop and get a packet of go-go's. Then he was asking for the go-go packet that came with a box which is £1.50 - so I thought if it was his own money being dished out - he may stick with the 99p bag.
He is expected to keep his room tidy/tidy his toys out of the lounge and generally be a 'helpful boy to mummy'.

Mydd who is 6 started getting pocket money when she was 5 (also just after her baby brother was born - part if the you are a big girl now thing!). She gets 60p a week now. She stashes it in her purse and now has £6.47! I dont buy her comics very often - say once a month, and she usually gets sweets on a saturday - either with her money, or money given to her by my mum (say 50p). She usually gets her pocket money every saturday, and if she helps out with chores - say does the dishes or helps me hoover / clean, etc then she get another 10 or 20p. She is expected to help set the table, tidy clothes away and other mini tasks as part of her age and in getting the main pocket money.

I am trying to teach her the value of money - she saved up £8 to get this snorkel set from ELC a few months ago, and was very delighted when she had enough to buy it herself - we wnt to thw shop and she handed over the cash. She is now saving up to get a sprial art (£8), but I have bougth her it as a surprise holiday treat, so she can use the cash in her purse for holiday spends instead.

I put money away i her bank account for her, and I think when she is 7 we will start with the saving money up and putting it in her bank account and then getting it out herself when she needs it. She is saving up for a pony at the moment!!!! That may take a while !!

£4 far too much. Far far too much. Give £1.

Andyrobo - this sounds extremely sensible! We are definitely on the same wavelength.

Um tracy, I think we're out in the cold here

But then ds1 can 'apply' to me for something like a Power Rangers ball - and probably get it.

Is that not the same thing then? You probably end up spending the same amount of money just hand it over differently

No, because I give Ds1 almost total autonomy over money he receives, and I would never let him have total autonomy over £4 a week - I think i's too much.

Also, in London £4 is bugger all - here it would buy you a pub lunch and a cup of tea.

I'm sure over the year - we all spend the same - just in different ways - but I think I shall cut it down to £2 a week - and hope he doesn't blow it all at once!

ie yesterday he bought a packet of jelly tots in the PO - 44p!! but it did come out of his pocket money - so actually he only has £1.50 left.

bought some jelly tots in WHSmith yesterday - 51p!!!!!!!

It's a bloody disgrace!! I thought 44p was bad!
Maybe I should go to costco and stock up and open a little tuck shop for him in the kitchen!

Thats what I said - he's EXPECTED to do that.

imho it is too much at this age. Where will you go from there, by the time he is 10 you'll be paying a fortune out each week if you increase it from time to time.

The 'going rate' according to a survey I just did for work (long story!) for 4 to 6 year olds is only 50p to a £1. Of course there are outliers who give their kids far more but it is very unusual to give as much as you are suggesting.

In fact, as this thread suggests, many people only start giving pocket money later on.

I will be starting with £1 when ds is a little older - not quite sure when exactly but as soon as I think he is old enough to learn from the experience of pocket money and gain an understanding of saving money, spending wisely etc. Unlikely to be before age 5 or 6.

Gosh, I only started giving my ds pocket money when he turned six - and he only gets 50p every friday.

Girlandboy I'm with you