Nearly 5 year old soiling her pants at school

[HowlingCow]

My almost 5 year old (in 2 weeks)has soiled her knickers at school today for the 2nd time this term. She's quite a bright girl and fairly confident. When I ask her why, she said she was playing the best game at playtime and didnt want to stop for the toilet. She seems a bit old to be doing this and I'm not sure of the best way to discuss it with her without making her anxious about her toilet habits. Should I be worried or am I making more of it than I should?

A lot of young children don't like pooing in school toilets. They aren't particularly private, they may not feel they can clean themselves properly, they may not like leaving a smell in the toilet, the toilets themselves may not be particularly clean part way through the day.

Many children try to hang on to their poo until they are at home, where they are more comfortable, which of course means that (a) poo can leak, and (b) they can soil themselves.

Go easy on her, but ask her about the school toilets. The teachers may be able to help her if it's a problem with the school loos.

She must have done it during last playtime because it was on way back to car I noticed and I'd already said we were going to park with DD2 and friends. I had to take her home instead to shower her as she was in a mess-I'm amazed teachers missed it! She was upset about not going to park. Thanx for advice about not reminding her in morning though as I probably would have done!

Never thought about school loos-that's a good point. At home she always tells me to leave the bathroom if she's having a poo but doesn't mind if its a wee.

I hated going to the loo at school, even to wee, so I would check that's not an issue with her. I used to hold everything in all day....I was worried people would come in on me, look over the top/under the stalls etc, even at senior school. Is she like it in public loos elsewhere - does she like you stay outside etc etc?? Msybe having a word with teacher would help - could they remind kids at start of playtime to go? Your lo can't be the only one this has happened to.

most children don't poo at school due to lack of privacy / lack of time / can't relax enough.

After a while their bodies get into a rhythm and she will go before school or in the evening.

I would try not to make too much of a big deal about it. Missing the park would have been enough to make her realise she shouldn't have done it.