Should I try to start DS potty training before DC2 is born or wait until after?

[iwouldgoouttonight]

DS is 2 in August and has so far shown no interest in using the potty or toilet and doesn't tell us when he is about to do a wee or poo (although very occasionally tells me when he's done a poo, but he's not always right!)

So I don't think he's ready yet, which is fine, but DC2 is due in Jan and I'm wondering whether to push DS a bit more to get him potty trained before the new one arrives, or whether to wait until the new baby is a few months old (by which time DS will be nearly three).

Is it more difficult to do potty training with a new baby to look after as well, and might it be too much of an unheaveal for DS what with having to get used to not getting all our attention any more?

I don't have experience of this myself as I only have one child, but we do want to TTC no two at some point and I spoke about the potty training to a friend of mine who has four children (my DS is two btw) as I don't want to be changing nappies when hugely pregnant. She said there is no point pushing them until they are ready and she has found that as soon as the toddlers have seen the new baby in a nappy, they have given up the nappy of their own accord as they felt it was too baby'ish for them. Her friend who has five children has agreed with this so...worth thinking about! Its not ideal changing them when pregnant but as she pointed out, it doesn't harm the bump any!

We have bought a potty for DS and leave it lying around..he sits on it fully clothed but the one time we tried to put him on it with no nappy, he went hysterical so we are just letting nature take its course and letting him tell us when he is ready. MIL is coming at the end of the month though and I'm positive she'll push for potty training...arghhhh

In my experience its dooable but a lot more work if you push potty trainig when they arent ready. I had 3 attempts with my daughter, the first 2 were totally traumatic stressful times for all, I was keen because like you I had another on the way. I eventually gave up and tried when she was quite a bit older and it was a breeze with no accidents at all.

Don't even go there!!

Wait till next spring!!

No, No, No!

I really wish someone had told me, when I was pg with dd2, to leave dd1 until after she was born (dd1 was 2.8m)

But I went for it (she was showing all the signs though, and was able to use the toilet easily, she just couldn't be relied upon half the time)

And with dd2's arrival everything went completely down the pan, so to speak

Don't even go there, is my (mentally scarred) advice to you!

If he isn't ready then don't push it! We've had people asking me if we're going to fast-track potty training because DD2 is due in October. No way! She isn't showing the signs of being ready yet, and I would much rather have two in nappies, than one newborn and one barely potty trained toddler, where I have to take spare clothes everywhere, and be ready for the 30 second dash to the toilet at any moment. Plus everyone on MN agrees that if you force children before they're ready then potty-training takes a lot longer.
Hm, I think my position on this is quite clear.

i would leave it until your DS is ready. or that way madness lies !! did not train DS until he was 3., after trying at 2 as he was supposed to be ready. and when he was 3, he was dry and clean day and night within a week. just takne DD out of nappies at 2.11 and she is almost dry day and night in a week, so i would wait until your child is ready and can actually understand the feeling of needing a wee etc and can control it a bit.

Can we have this thread translated to Arabic so when MIL starts I can say - BUT LOOK!!!! What is it with the elder generation that makes them bang on about potty training from..ooh about two weeks post birth??

'I had my son potty trained 3 days post conception you know'

Pah!

Oh thank you so much, that is really helpful. Will definitely wait until after the baby is born then. Notnowbernard - I had heard of someone else who had just about got the older child potty trained and then it all went wrong once the new baby came along. PussinJimmyChoos - my mum and MIL have both mentioned it too so I was wondering whether I'll be leaving it too late, but my DS had a similar reaction to your when we tried putting him on the potty with no nappy on - he hated it! Will definitely wait until he's ready then. I don't mind changing nappies, it seems easier than having to run to find a toilet when you're out!

I just think its so much easier when they are ready, rather than stress all around. Thing is though, DH is v much in awe of his mother's wisdom so I'm going to have to be firm!! Do you find as well that the DHs when they decide they have had enough of changing nappies, gaily announce its time to potty train and then leave all the nitty gritty finding out the info etc to us???

Don't push him if he is not ready. Not many under 2's are. So wait until after the baby is born.

Try it and see. What have you got to lose? warm weather (eventually) limited clothing, potty in the garden....

Get it over and done with.

Did this with my Ds when he was the same age and he had none of the so called "signs" - he was dry within a couple of days.

Being "ready" is a myth imo - perpetuated by nappy companys. Most of my contemporarys also followed our lead and also had few problems.