help!4 and half year old non stop tantrums wearing me out....

[emaknee]

she has just woken up after a sleep after school......I went in to talk to her as she cried, and she just kicked and said nothing as I said 'do you want to go back to sleep?',
watch cbeebies?
shes now on the bed screaming....i left her to it after saying if you dont speak to me Im gonna go.
what am i doing wrong?/right?

um.shes still screaming and getting really angry(her usual response to me ignoring her tantrum).
shes now screaming for a hug.
please...what would you do?cos I feel that if i give her a hug Im reinforcing her behaviour i.e screaming gets her what she wants.
I just said to her when youve finished screaming Im in the kitchen(or here)

anyone???
please?

hello!
just logged on to find someone in a similar position as my almost four year old screams and hits whenever things aren't going his way.
personally i think it's because since his sister was born six months ago i've been tired/distracted and not sticking to his routine.
what do you try doing to change her behaviour?
i know what you mean about it wearing you down, it's exhausting, and my one's screams are really piercing.

i do the same as you actually, i say when you're calm/when you can say it in a calm/nice voice i'll listen. but it doesn't seem to stop the tantrum happening next time...

ooh there's a thread a little further down about a wilful third child and somebody has said something really striking: that the child has 'spirit' and that while it's frustrating for the family now it will be that spirit that will carry her through life. hmm...

Whenever DD, who's 4, has a tantrum, we tell her that we'd really like to help sort out whatever's upsetting her, but we can't udertand when she's shouting/whining/screeching or whatever.

Does she get terribly tired after school? How does she sleep at night?

Hello,

My 5 year old DS1 has ADHD so he's a bit of a poster boy for bad behaviour. My advice is two-fold. First, take a deep breath and look around and you'll see that lots of people are having the same problem which I find reassuring.

Second, get some help now as once they hit school behavioural problems will become a real problem. I recommend the book The Incredible Years by Carolyn Webster-Stratton. She gives techniques to help both parents and children stay in control of the situation. She also gives instructions on how to deal with common situations such as refusing to eat.

My own feeling is that children are very resilient. You don't have to be the perfect parent all the time, you just have to try hard and let them know they're loved.

Good luck girls!