Ideas for some form of constructive dicsipline for a 2 year old... VERY confused!!

[eenybeeny]

We very briefly tried time out a while ago and I stopped that and using the naughty word because I feared it was damaging his self esteem or not productive as he was too young. So I have been trying to just use distraction but it doesnt seem to be working and I feel I need to do something more.

Is 2 mins time out and saying "THAT is naughty" (I never said YOU are naughty) good at this age or is it too hard on him?

He is a very good boy but like any 2 year old has occassional tantrums, hits, throws things he shouldnt etc. I want to get it right. Will take all advice on board!

Pick him up, sit him on your lap facing away from you and hold his arms by his side when he does something you don't want him to do (throwing, etc) - it removes him from the situation, but in a warmer manner than time out.

Distract for more trivial stuff - like do a stupid dance or see what sort of ugly face you can pull at him.

thanks hunker. sometimes its hard to get to him because he is kicking and hitting (this is not a common thing he really is very good but does get physical at times I feel this is normal but to be managed)

Do you speak to them when they are on your lap facing away? And do you use the word naughty at this age?

(He is just shy of 23 months now)

I don't tend to use the word naughty - not for any particular PC reason, more because it's not one that I would use naturally.

I talk about "kind hands", "kind feet" (if a hitting or kicking incident) or whatever - talk about the behaviour you want them to display rather than that which they've just done.

I tend to have a wrestling gap (watch out for being headbutted) where I don't talk and then, as DS2 gets calmer, I start to rock him and talk about what I expect, in a soft voice in his ear.

They're still little, they're learning about how things work.

My DD, also 23 months, is going through a very definite hitting and kicking phase. Her favourite at the moment is to kick wildly when I am changing a dirty nappy, I end up having to hold her legs still between mine.

I feel like I am ending up shouting far too often