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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Help!! I'm struggling - early riser & pg with #2

27 replies

spottyshoes · 05/07/2008 06:59

My DS is nearly 15mths and insists on waking at 4am every day. It's been going on for about 3 months and I can't say I was chuffed about it before but I'm now 6/7 weeks pg and completely exhausted. With DS I remember having a nap at lunchtime, coming in from work having something to eat and sleeping the clock round as I was so tired but obviously I can't do that this time.

He is on the go constantly apart from 2x hour naps. I sleep when he does during the day but it just makes me groggy and i'm living with a pretty constant headache, really short temper etc.

He goes to bed at 6.45. (This is self dictated btw). For just over a week, on MN advice, I tried keeping him up until 7.30-8 but all I got was a whinging, over tired baby who still got up at 4 and therefore had even less sleep per night so have gone back to how he wants it. The room is right temp, dark etc so WHY DOES HE GET UP A BLOODY 4AM . He is whingey until 1st nap time but refuses to go back to sleep until about 9am

Any advice, tips, similar situations stories all gratefully received. I'm really struggling

OP posts:

kittywise · 05/07/2008 07:08

Well in your shoes I would NOT go to him at 4am.

Mhairi06 · 05/07/2008 07:29

Nightmare! I have a 2 year old and a 6 month old and the sleep deprivation is a killer! It's just not the same the second time round with another wee one to contend with. I really feel for you! My little boy (the 2 year old) went through a period like that, and it did settle down after a while. Make the most of any help from family and friends for babysitting and get your head down for a few hours whilst they're away. You're almost through your first trimester, and hopefully you will stop feeling so tired soon. Have you tried controlled crying? I hated doing it, but it worked. Anything's worth a try. It would be good to get their sleep sorted before No 2 arrives! Good luck!

christiana · 05/07/2008 07:31

Message withdrawn

Original poster

spottyshoes · 05/07/2008 07:38

I have tried leaving him Kittywise but he screams and screams until I have to get him - I couldnt sleep through it anyway, he has a helluva pair of lungs!

Mhairi06, I did do CC at about 7mths as DS has always had issues with his sleeping and it worked brilliantly. At least he sleeps through now unless he is teething. He's just too awake at 4am - that seems to be when he wants to start the day. And to think I used to complain about 5.30.....sounds like a lie-in now

Glad to hear it does settle down eventually. I will definately try and arrange my mum to come over next week for a few hours and see if I can get some sleep. I would love to ring her right now but she is away

Oh well - only an hour or so until nap time - yay.

Thanks for the replies

OP posts:

Original poster

spottyshoes · 05/07/2008 07:42

Christiana, he plays for about 10mins, talks to himself for about 5 and then starts screaming when he knows no-one is coming. I usually go up and feed him to see if he will go back over but when he is done he wants to get down and play! He is eating well.

Ikwym about the naps, for a while he dropped one and just had 1.5 in the middle of the day and he was terrible to settle! The more they have is definately easier

OP posts:

ssd · 05/07/2008 07:48

spotty, I had this with my two, I can only say try to sleep when he does, there wasn't much else that worked for me. my mum is elderly and caould never babysit both kids at once, when the youngest was born and the first was still up early I used to drive them to her house and ask her to sit in the car whilst I went into her house and slept! she'd sit for as long as they both slept, maybe 40 minutes and I'd get a nap! I can also remember sleeping in the car with them both in front of my own house! the neighbours must have thought I was mad.

good luck, its exhausting but somehow you do get thru it!

Original poster

spottyshoes · 05/07/2008 07:52

OMG - poor you ssd! I must admit i've blocked out the thought that he will still be like this when #2 arrives

Guess I'm going to have to take your lead and get creative with naps!

OP posts:

Mhairi06 · 05/07/2008 07:53

My wee boy is exactly the same - he sleeps worse at night if he doesn't get a decent sleep at lunchtime. Is your son maybe at the stage now where you could think about dropping his morning nap and have just one longer nap after his lunch? I remember my son struggling with his sleep around this age, where one nap wasn't enough, but two was too much for him and he was sleeping worse at night. He needed quite alot of support at this time to sort out his naps, but I seem to remember it helped a bit.

MorocconOil · 05/07/2008 07:58

Poor you. I can sympathise, having had my first 2 DC within 2 years of each other. DS1 was an early riser, although 5.45 was probably the earliest he got up. I was constantly tired, resentful and short-tempered for about 3 years.
It does get better though, and I had almost forgotten about those exhausting days in the past. I saw your post and really felt for you.

My advice would be as follows;

If you can try, and keep him up as late as possible tonight. By late I mean 8-ish. I know he'll be really flagging and bad-tempered by 6pm. I would try and keep him as active as possible. I am presuming he is toddling around. Is there a nice little park nearby? Get him out in the fresh air. While out you could feed him up. Mine always ate lots of picnic food. I was wondering whether hunger could be a factor in the early wakening. Anyway take him home, trying not to let him fall asleep on the way back. Give him a nice warm bath, and have a calm and relaxing bedtime.
When/if he wakes at 4 you are going to have to ignore him. It sounds like he can't get himself back to sleep, but he needs to learn.
It's really hard, but you are going to wear yourself out, and with a newborn in the equation you'll be getting even less sleep.

I hope that helps and good luck

ssd · 05/07/2008 08:11

you know what, my 2 are 7 and 9 and are still fighting sleep, they wake early, (before 7 even if they go to bed after 9.30 ), nothing seems to make them sleep, I'm permanently knackered and have to accept it although its hard!

hotbot · 05/07/2008 08:14

we have this with dd also. the last couple of weeks we have taken her hand and led her back to bed and said no dd time for bed,, we have also tried opening the curtains and giving her a book to flick thru, it has given us an extra 30 mins or so in bed - not sleeping as we are holding our breath listening out for her

she is 22mths and in her own bed, as she used to scream the place doen in her cot

Mhairi06 · 05/07/2008 08:16

ssd, not sure if I wanted to hear that!! Was really hoping this would be a short term problem that would eventually sort itself out!!

ssd · 05/07/2008 08:17

my 2 seem to be a one off, all the other kids I know enjoy a sleep in, thats my kids idea of hell!

sure yours will be different

Mhairi06 · 05/07/2008 08:19

New to mumsnet - can someone explain to me what "dd", "ds", "dh" etc mean?! Ta!

Mhairi06 · 05/07/2008 08:21

ssd, Hope so!

MorocconOil · 05/07/2008 08:23

SSD- mine are still like that. When they were younger I used to drive for miles out of my way, with the heat full on and Classic FM on to get them to sleep. Then I'd sit in the car outside the house with my eyes closed.
Now they are 3,6 and 8 they still get up early but we let them GO down and watch telly. It's probably not the best parenting, but it keeps us relatively sane.

kittywise · 05/07/2008 08:30

spottyshoes, I use ear plugs, that way i can't hear and we all get some sleep

savoycabbage · 05/07/2008 08:52

I used to give my dd a weetabix right before he went to bed when this happened to me and it seemed to help her stay asleep for those extra couple of hours.

christiana · 05/07/2008 09:08

Message withdrawn

AuntyJ · 05/07/2008 09:28

spootyshoesm- have you tried extending his bedtime in stages. So instead of 6.45 extended to 7.00 for a week then 7.15 etc. Doing it in stages will mean his body will adapt and he wont be so exhausted.

ssd · 05/07/2008 10:24

mimizan, my yougest wakes first and aon't go downstairs himself as he is too frightened (and our house is tiny!!!)

he makes such a racket I have to get up with him so he doesn't wake the eldest (who might sleep till 8!!)

juuule · 05/07/2008 10:46

In your position, if he goes to bed at 6:45 and sleeps then I would go to bed at 7 and sleep. Doesn't have to be every night but I would certainly do it until I felt better.

BabaYaga · 05/07/2008 11:05

It will get better. DD1 was just like this (until she was 2 1/2) and then started sleeping 7 to 7 all of a sudden. DD2 currently starts the day at 4.20am (3:30am this morning unfortunately), and thats it she is wide awake, only has 3 half bour naps, and goes to bed at 5:30. IME, the later we put her to bed, the earlier she gets up and the more miserable it is. No useful advice I'm afraid, just know that it won't always be like this, try and sit down and relax (ha!) as much as you can during the day, and I second Juuule's suggestion of an early bed; I went at 8:20pm last night. Best of luck.

Original poster

spottyshoes · 05/07/2008 11:06

Thanks everyone for your replies, I have a lot to think about there. And special thanks to ssd for shattering my illusion that this would be a short term thing

I will look at playing around a bit more with his nap times. I think I'm also going to buy a bigger cotbed as his is just a cot and see if having more space will help.

I'm definately taking juuule's suggestion and am going to bed straight after him tonight. Sod sorting the housework!

Thanks again x

OP posts:

Mhairi06 · 05/07/2008 12:06

Quite right! You might just find putting him in a cot bed will make a difference. It does for my wee boy. Try controlled crying too. You need to stick with it for a week or so before it works. Don't just try it for a night or two. And be consistent. Make sure your husband/partner is too. Hopefully it will make a bit of a difference for you. Hope it all settles for you soon. Good luck with no 2!

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