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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Haircuts and two year-olds

17 replies

Holly02 · 20/01/2003 03:41

Can I just ask what other mums do if their children put up a fight at the barber's??!! My 2.6 yr old ds has had SO many haircuts in his short life, you would think he would be perfectly ok with it all by now. Last year he developed a fear of having his hair cut (out of nowhere!), he would cry and carry on so much that I sometimes had to just leave without having it done. Then he went through a period of being an angel and sat quietly while they cut his hair. Now (unbelievably) he appears to be terrified of it again. This morning he screamed and wriggled so much that we literally had to hold him down so that they could cut his hair. I don't want to make him even more frightened of it but I have no clue why he's doing this again, and we can't just leave his hair un-cut because it is very thick and grows like grass. What do other mothers do in this situation?

I've tried taking him to a friend's house who cuts hair at home, so he could be in a quieter environment, but even that didn't work. I've tried bribing him with sweets & food that he likes, but it's had no calming effect whatsoever. We've also tried a male hairdresser and a female hairdresser - makes no difference either. Do I just wait until this next 'stage' blows over? Thanks...

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GRMUM · 20/01/2003 03:57

I had this too holly02 with ds2.He started from a baby being absolutely hysterical.We also tried everything but he also had a lot of hair and it had to be cut.I used to really dread going and we all got in a real state.
We did realise early on that he hated the clippers most of all (the noise I think) so only used scissors .By about 4 yrs he was calming down somewhatand from about 5 he's been fine and now he asks to go every few weeks - when he can't make his hair spikey as he wants it to be!(he's 8 now)
Sorry I haven't suggested anything new but you seem to have tried everything we tried.He'll grow out of it and you'll laugh about it one day.If I remember I'll ask him today why he used to scream so much.(we used to have to hold him down to get it cut too)

jac34 · 20/01/2003 10:17

Hi Holly2
My ds's were exactly the same, eventually it got so stressful I did not bother. However, they still did need, to have their hair cut, so I did it myself at home. They were still hysterical though, and I used to have to, strap them into their high chairs to do it !!!DH would not help in holding them down, as "He could not stand the screaming" !!!!!
We used to let them go with DH when he had his cut, so they could get used to the barber, and eventually they let him cut their hair, when they were about 3, if not older.
I used to realy hate it, I got so upset, and the state of their hair was awful.

Furball · 20/01/2003 10:47

Oh crikes! Have i got all this to look forward to? DS (17 months) used to let me cut his hair in the bath if I gave him a few toys to play with, but he soon put a stop to that. A hairdresser came to the house and I had to pin him down as he was absolutely besides himself, thrashing and screaming. It really needs doing again, but don't know what to do about it. It seems unfair to stress him out like that. But on the other hand I don't want to look like a gypsy.(no offence to anybody who is - just a manner of speach). Do you think it's a boy thing?

valleygirl · 20/01/2003 10:47

We have cut the 2 year ols hair with clippers that we have at home - he watched me shave my bf head, then dad did his older brother, then did his - have to be quick though, as the wriggling and the desire to check himself out in the mirror happens pretty quickly!

tigermoth · 20/01/2003 12:06

My toddler did look like a bit of a gypsy for a while He had just two proper hair cuts last year- strangly these coincided with visits to his grandparents. The rest of the time I used to trim his hair myself.

He's three and a half now and can just about stay still for the hairdresser, if they are quick and I pin him down. However it's still hard going and I do get the scissors out at home. A good time to trim is when he is immersed in a TV programme.

When I thought about it, as long as his hair is neat and out of his eyes what does it really matter? Really when it boils down to it, for me it's displaced vanity - wanting to be seem with a well-groomed boy with a proper hairstyle, but to my son a pudding basin haircut would do just as well.

So, I suppose I compromise betweem my vanity and his needs - with proper haircuts sometimes and home trims between.

Fionn · 20/01/2003 17:31

My youngest son aged 2.5 has always screamed blue murder during a haircut, even when a hairdresser friend used to cut it at home. At least he stays still enough on my lap for the hairdresser to be able to cut it, I just have to hold his arms down and grit my teeth until it's over! My only consolation is that my eldest now aged 4 was exactly the same but grew out of it around 3 and a bit, so you probably just have to wait! I now get the youngest's cut very short so I don't need to take him very often.

soyabean · 20/01/2003 19:20

Have recently invested in clippers after a friend told me her daughter had been cutting her Dad's hair with them since she was 4 (and makes a good job of it). I cut dh and ds1's hair first then ds2 (3 1/2) said 'now its my turn' and was happy, tho I did have to be quick. That was his third I think, previousl a friend cut it for him which was OK too, but he had been refusing for a while.
Ds1's hair had been shoulder length and he wanted it cut short, which I did. Ds2 said 'I want mine long now like J's was'.

pluto · 20/01/2003 21:27

Holly02 My ds was similar. Total screaming nightmare at hairdresser's, often would have his haircut being held almost upside down as he arched his back in massive tantrums. Then it stopped for no reason at all, after about five or six visits to the salon. The hairdresser's advice was keep bringing him in and not to leave long intervals between cuts. It was terrible but it did eventually work. I think you just have to ride the storm. He's just had his first visit to the dentist and I did loads of role play with him about it before the trip, I think this helps too.

GRMUM · 21/01/2003 07:34

I have to say that even though the hair cutting problem is now several years in the past for us, I am amazed to read of so many others having this problem.At the time we all used to get in such a state about it -I also had to pin my son down and I used to feel such a bad mum for doing so.I would agree with pluto that it is best in the long run not to leave a lot of time between visits so that all that is needed each time is a quick trim.My husbands cousin is a hairdresser and he used to cut ds2 hair.His hand used to tremble cos he used to get upset about it too.As well as worrying about ds2 I was also then worrying about the hairdresser "stabbing" him cos he had the shakes!!!

How I wish mumsnet had been around when mine were young.A problem shared is definitely a problem halved!

Bron · 21/01/2003 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bekki · 21/01/2003 23:30

My son was born with a full head of hair that I was told would fall out within a few weeks. It didn't and so at 3 months of age my son was in the hairdressers. He loves going to the hair dressers now (hes 2yr 7) just as he always has done because he gets his haircut at the same time as his dad and he gets lots of attention from the two members of staff and they take their time with him explaining what they are doing and most importantly he gets a lollipop from the hairdresser. But also at the same hairdressers is a little boy about 4ish who screams like hes being attacked whilst having his hair cut screaming "not my ears!" Perhaps that comment could explain the fear.

Essie · 22/01/2003 10:49

Gosh, you know what - mumsnet is SO HELPFUL! Just last Tuesday we had the same struggles with DS 2yrs. I hate it. He screams so hard I sometimes think passers by must think I am torturing my child! DH had to pin him down, hold his head while I did my best!!! It looks terrible. DH thinks I should get the sissors out everyday and just snip around his head and get him used to sissors.
Its good to know you ain't alone!

SoupDragon · 22/01/2003 10:55

I cut my DSs hair myself whilst they either watch TV or eat chocolate buttons

I have to confess I did trim round the back & over the ears of DS2s when he fell asleep face down on the floor last week though...

Tongy · 30/03/2003 21:52

Hi! Well I'm so glad that we are not the only ones with haircutting problems! My son (3yrs) has always hated going to the barbers, so much so that we have in the past let his grow dreadfully long! I've recently decided that the only way to deal with it is to grin and bear it and give him a lolly at the end to help mop up the tears. It's an awful 15 mins but better than trying to snip little bits here and there over weeks at home!!

winnie1 · 31/03/2003 12:04

I love Mumsnet! No advice; just glad to know it's not just us

Jimjams · 31/03/2003 15:08

Haircuts are a huge problem for us with ds1 (three- autisic). Now we have afamily friend come to the house. I strip him off (top) and stand next to him brushing the hair off as it lands whilst shoving choccy buttons into him. It usually works- although not last week- she's trying again tomorrow!
In the past before moving back here I hunted down a few child friendly places. Once was at the back of a clothes shop and had a tv- I used to bring my own video (teletubbies- thomas) Another was a barber's with a racing car thing. I used to sit him in there and spin the steering wheel.

All we do now is cut every 4 weeks so it never gets too long. He can tolerate short cuts usually, but not long ones. Hopefull we'll get on better tomorrow.

Lindy · 31/03/2003 15:57

Does it help if Dad takes them to the barber/hairdresser? My DS, now 2, has always gone with his Dad & just loves it (apparently, I've never accompanied them) - he goes every couple of months and has been since about 10 months. Don't know if it would make any difference, perhaps my DS just likes preening himself!

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