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why has my 5 1/2 yr old son changed ?

5 replies

louise66 · 03/07/2008 12:43

My DS 1 has always been such a sensible little boy. Don't get me wrong and I'm not intending to sound smug - he's had his moments - but on the whole he always seemed so much more well grounded and mature than some of his similar aged friends. Since starting school last sept and also since DS2 came along last July he's become a devious and manipulative little so and so !! Everything he does is seemingly designed to gain attention, good or bad .. over the last few weeks he has amongst other things attempted to hoist a little plastic push along with wheels into a tree virtually directly above unsuspecting DS2, tried to wee into a plastic bag in the house, grimaces and pulls faces if I'm telling him why this is unacceptable and has also started making these mock attempts at cying if something doesn't go his way. He's not always like this and thinking about it, it usually kicks off when I'm on my own with the 2 of them. I dread after school until DH comes home. We do try to give him attention, lots of praise etc and we suspect he's probably jealous as DS2 is such a smiley baby but obviously the attention is often not the undivided attention he craves and misses. Does this sibling rivalry ever stop and has anyone else experienced these character changes ?. Any advice ? Thanks Louise.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BasementBear · 03/07/2008 13:31

I am sure it will pass - he has obviously been through some big changes, starting school and having a new brother. Have you tried sticker charts - choose one behaviour at a time that you would like to change. Praising the positive behaviour makes a big difference, no matter how small it might seem, for example "Well done for holding my hand nicely while we crossed the road" or whatever. I did a parenting course which recommended giving each child special time each day - it only has to be 10 minutes - where you let them choose what you do together. It definitely makes them feel important and my boys both really enjoy it. If not possible before, maybe it can be something you or DH can do with him when DH comes home? Good luck!

MrsFreedy · 03/07/2008 13:49

You say that this has been going on since he started school. Have you asked your DS if there is anything wrong at school and have you spoken to his teachers about this. If his teachers say he is fine ask them to keep a closer eye on him as what is upsetting him may seem something small and insignificant to you and me but very big to him and waits until he gets home to take out his frustration on you.

icecreamsoda · 03/07/2008 13:54

Once children start school they fall under the influence of others and learn bad habbits.

But I would say no, sibling rivalry never stops.

pgwithnumber3 · 03/07/2008 13:54

Well I can sympathise with you Louise66, my DD was too like this after DD2 was born in September, she too started reception in the same month and we moved house (again!) in December. I was too up in arms about what to do about her behaviour and realised that it was just good old attention she wanted.

I then made huge effort to make a massive fuss of her and we have little trips out on our own around once a month (to the fun fair, places like that) and she is a different child.

I make sure I am calm with her, if she does something which is really "naughty" there is a consequence. I also notice that when she is hungry she is horrendous. Could that be a problem as well?

Give him a bit of time with you on your own, remember, he was an only child for nearly 5 years and know your attention is totally taken with DS2. It's hard on them for quite a while.

pgwithnumber3 · 03/07/2008 13:55

now not know.

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