My five year old son is so angry!

[Elizabethv]

Please help my son refuses to do anything! Well it feels like it anyway!This morning just because he would n't put his socks on before school I ended up smacking his bottom which I hate myself for-he just screams and crys and says that he can't do things-which he can. I end up putting him in the downstairs loo a lot of the time to calm down-no toys to play with in there!He just doesn't sem to see the correlation between if you do what is asked you will be rewarde3d-if not things get taken away and yoiu are sent out for time out. This isn't working clearly! He has a 20 month old brother who is so jealous of-what can I do? Loads more to add nbut don't where to start!

Christ my typing is rubbish!

I have a willful 5 yo too. It must be hard going with a toddler in toe as well.

I find with DS is he much nicer to be with if he doesn't feel 'got at'. I tend to avoid 'punishments' as he gets very angry and frustrated (and thinks I'm just getting at him rather than understanding what he's done wrong).
Can you work to get him on your side as much as possible.
Ask his opinion on what the family should do at the weekend, what to have for tea etc.
Explain the reason for unpopular rules.
Make getting dressed etc a race.

I find rewards much more useful than punishments. Comic from the shop. Pack of sweets. pocket money.

Make sure he's not too tired or hungry (my DS goes a bit crazy if he doesn't eat regularly).

Good luck!

You know, if he is jealous and feels the need to regress for a bit, I think I would let him. It's not the end of the world, it won't spoil him forever. Help him to put his socks on for a while, chat to him about something nice while you're doing it. Make it an opportunity to give him a cuddle.

Once he feels reassured, he will probably be quite happy to start putting them on again without even noticing that he is doing it. A little sock-changing isn't worth the two of you getting so upset about.

And I would use time out for when he really gets out of control/serious misdemeanours (like hitting little brother), not for asking for help with his socks. IME punishments are only effective if you use them very sparingly.

Agree with Cory. If he wants to be treated like a baby, go with it.

What else is bothering you?

I usually put DS socks on and he is five and perectly capable.

I had loads of problems getting DS dressed but he came up with a solution which works for us both. When he gets dressed from 'head to ankle' within 5 minutes of initial request I put his socks on. If he dawdles, he has to do socks as well.

That sounds like genius, Otherside Nothing like a little bargaining and compromise.

great advice on this thread!

When he is saying he can't do things, what he's doing I think is just asking for a bit more mum.

Of course he's jealous of the younger one and wants a bit more of the looking after that a tiny tot gets....so far as you are able it's well worth giving him that - I think that will be your quickest way to get him out of this phase.

Thank you feel a lot better today! The biggest suprise that I had was when I woke up he had been downstairs for an hour by himself watchingTV!!He has never done that before!!!Now i feel totally guilty!!!Decided to go out with him by myself this weekend to give him some devoted time!Really miss doing stuff together!Really need to take a step back and see what is going on through his eyes. Thanksx