2.2 DS hitting I am consistent but he is getting a 'reputation'

[blackrock]

Hi, i need some advice. I have a lovely 2.2yr old DS. He is very energetic, and plays well with peers the same age/size. He can talk in sentences, and is inquisitive as to how things work. He can share, and can give up a toy for a friend and play with something else.

Problem: He is very aggressive towards younger children especially if they are in his way or playing with something he wants. He can be perfectly nice one second and the next he is bashing at a baby very aggressively. I step in and pull him off, then speak and he will say sorry, then he immediately do it again. I remove him and say i will take to toy away, or we will have to go home if it continues. I remove him and distract, but often he will try it again.

Other parents are starting to distance themselvs, and are constantly telling me I need to be harder, shout, or have a naughty step.

I was a nanny for two years in Sweden where it is illegal to hit, and i would not be comfortable with this type of technique.

But I feel i have an out of control toddler, that noone will like.

Will he grow out of this, or is he going to be aggressive? How would you deal with it? I just need some advice, as this behaviour I find disturbing and upsetting.

Hello I have a dd who is 2.6 and although has never hit another child (to my knowledge) does hit me if I dare to say no to her!!! I am very supernanny about it and give her the opportunity to appologise but if she doesn't I sit her in 'time out'. Not the 'naughty chair' as my mum says thats wrong for some reason I can't now remember. Anyway I will sit her there explain why she is sat there amd then leave her to it for two mins afterwhich I will come back explain again why she was put there and get an appology. Then a kiss and a cuddle and we move on. I think this is the most effective way to deal with behaviour you don't want to see, the trick is to be very consistent, plus time out can be used anywhere even if you are out just find a corner to sit him in. I wouldn't worry about the behaviour as such as it is normal for toddlers to get frustrated and lash out, they haven't yet learned how to contain their feelings. Good luck xXx

I had a hell of a time with dd1 when she was about that age; she was a biter. I have to say that I didn't find time out/naughty step overly effective tbh. I just had to keep re-iterating that it was wrong. Thankfully she just grew out of it.

Good luck.

It will pass. It is just a phase. But in the meantime you will need to do a bit of repair work on his image, by showing support of the other mums.

Lots of shouting is probably not a good idea, but even in Sweden a Deep Parental No is permissible. You know the way they say duuuu and draw it out for half a sentence while letting voice sink a semi-octave in tone while looking at you under raised eye-brows.

Apologising to the bitten one and making a fuss over them is also good for smoothing ruffled feelings.

he should grow out of it with a bit of time, so don't worry about the longer term

could you give toddler groups with very young children present a miss for a while and go to indoor playareas with older kids/swimming/park with friends instead? might be less stress

otherwise, it is stressful, but watch like a hawk and be ready to step in and take him home if necessary. also try lots of fussing over the one that has been hit, and making sure you're not giving your ds lots of negative attention for the bad behaviour