My baby got bitten at nursery today - how should i deal with this?

[Lulabellx1]

Hi guys

I?m really at a loss as to how to deal with this one and would love some opinions!

My little boy is at nursery today (10 months old) and I get a phone call at work...

?Hello, thought we would just pre-warn you that the your child has been bitten on the cheek today by another child. We wanted to warn you so that you didn?t have a shock when you came to collect him as it looks quite severe. It hasn?t broken the skin though and your child has calmed down and he seems fine?

I didn?t really know what to say! Apparantly it was not over a stolen toy or anything. My boy was sitting on his own and the other child crawled over and bit him on the face.

Now? being sympathetic to the other parents. There is not much they can really do about it because they were not there to discipline or watch their child but I also understand that the nursery staff can?t watch each and every child every minute of every day.

My partner is really annoyed and wants the telephone numbers of the other parents so he can speak to them. But I can put myself in their shoes and say, what if it was our child that did the biting, there?s not really much we could do!

What would you do in this situation?

Thanks for your thoughts in advance, I feel like running in and collecting him and taking him home for lots of cuddles 

Thanks everyone for you?re thoughts. It?s much in the same vain as how I am feeling.

I know there is no sense in calling the parents and I?m sure my partner is just being overprotective of our little boy, which is sweet but he also needs to put himself in the shoes of the biters parents because no doubt, a few months down the line? it will be us!

It?s such a strange phenomenon really though isn?t it? What makes babies think ?I wanna bite something, a toy is not good enough? I know, that cheek looks good!?

Do you think its really an affection think. They actually just want to be close to one another but accidentally bite because they haven?t figured out how to kiss or cuddle yet?

Lu xx

I have a biter at the moment, with him its sheer frustration at not being able verbalize whatever is annoying him. Usually over a toy, although sometimes it seems like no reason. It's always worse when he is teething, and at the moment he is cutting his last molars. His biting phase has gone on a bit longer than my other DC's, and the time between each incident is getting longer.
Hopefully, this phase is passing! He is now 32 mths.

Sorry to hear your lo was bitten. My ds, nearly 2 and who attends nursery, has gone through phases of biting and it's usually connected to teething. He's also been bitten at nursery and I'm almost embarassed to say that I'm hugely relieved when I'm told he's been bitten rather then the other way round.

Your lo is still v.young and could go through a phase like this himself. It isn't your fault and it's just something that some of them do - it won't turn them into some aggressive bully in later life. I suppose you have to say to dp that if the roles were reversed would he want another parent coming up to him to ask why his child, who was still very young and not old enough to knwo better, bit another child - I suspect he wouldn't have an answer other than "sorry, but he's still very little and really doesn't yet understand that it's not a nice thing to do".

Nurseries, IMHO, tend to deal with biting in a consistent (and good) way and don't tell other parents who it was in order to stop just this very thing from happening. When our kids are older and know better then your dp has a point, but for now, it's just one of those things....I suppose also nursery staff can't see absolutely everything that goes on but they do keep a closer eye on "biters" to try to stop them doing it if they see it might be about to happen.

HTH !

Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about your lo. It's awful, but as the PPs have said not uncommon unfortunately. My DD used to bite, not too often thankfully and mainly me, Dh and DD2. The only 'outsider' she bit was my best friend's older daughter who DD1 HERO whorshipped, I mean literally loved to pieces - so why did she do it? God knows, I think she just wanted her attention.

Anyway, not long ago I was drawn aside after nursery and told that unfortunately there had been 'a biting incident', my heart sank and I thought I would cry - but it turned out, it was my DD who had been bitten (by her best friend). I think that the teacher thought I was utterly mad as I was almost happy in my relief that poor DD had been bitten rather than the biter. I mean obviously I was v sad for her and gave her lots of hugs and kisses etc, but my point is, until your child has been the biter you can't possibly understand how much worse that is than your child being bitten IYSWIM.

Nelly, I do relate to that! Dd was a biter, so when ds started getting bitten my reaction must have seemed really odd. This was at the childminder's, so no confidentiality possible. The poor Mum of the biter was in tears, but I was just sooo relieved the boot was on the other foot at last