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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD (3.5)'s extreme and constant role-playing is a bit freaky. Is this normal???

47 replies

nezelette · 01/07/2008 22:24

My 3.5 yr old DD is constantly pretending to be someone else, usually a character from one of the musicals she is OBSESSED with (Sound of Music, Annie, Oliver).
This has really intensified in the last week or so, to the extent that she is never really "herself" anymore. She wakes up and the first thing she says is "I'm Oliver Twist". She kept Oliver Twist going for four entire days. Impossible to distract her from it. We had half an hour of tears because she "wanted to be a boy for real". She corrects us all day long when we say "she" or call her by her real name.
This is exhausting and really quite worrying now. Is she unhappy being herself? Do we need to indulge her or ignore her? We've explained that we like her better when she's herself but we also role-play with her several hours a day.
What to do now??????
HELP!

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Original poster

nezelette · 01/07/2008 22:26

By the way she's just had a little brother (3 mths old) and is upset that I'm going back to work soon-ish (8 weeks to go). Is it a way of coping with upset??

OP posts:

seeker · 01/07/2008 22:28

My dd was an obsessive role player too - but hers were a bit different - she was a flamingo or a lemur or on one memorable day a pencil! She grew out of it. Now she is 12, she gets hutely excited when her little brother does pretending because she can join in without losing her dignity! Don't worry about it. Go along with it if you feel like it - don't if you don't.

cory · 01/07/2008 22:29

No, I think it's normal. My little brother and I were always doing it (and not necessarily as a game between us). There was one time when we were both in hospital and pretending to be these two characters out of a book- me the male character and he the female. The nurses just called us by those names, no problem. We've grown up tolerably sane.

bandgeek · 01/07/2008 22:31

Apparently I was convinced I was a cat when I was small. I grew up to be relatively normal

notnowbernard · 01/07/2008 22:32

At 3.5 dd1's role-playing was so extreme I found her attempting to breastfeed dd2

Original poster

nezelette · 01/07/2008 22:55

Ha! Thanks, this does help. No need to take her to the kiddie-shrink quite yet then.
I like your stories too. Keep them coming

notnowbernard:

I got particularly worried tonight because of the "I want to be a boy" crying fit. It seemed so heartfelt and she was sobbing so much

OP posts:

jollydo · 01/07/2008 23:10

My ds1 has always loved 'being' someone else (usually from TV) from about age 2 1/2. He doesn't do it quite so much now at 4, but he used to do it so much that when my parents /aunty / cousins arrived the first thing they'd ask is 'who are you today?' He'd tell anyone talking to him that 'I'm not 'ds1' I'm Thomas/Rev/Leo' etc. I also had to be someone from the same programme/book and now ds2 has come along he gets a role too. His latest favourite is 'Superwhy' on NickJr and he is Superwhy (of course..) I am Little Red and ds2 is Alpha Pig! I think I'll miss it when he stops doiing it.
He and his cousin play lovely role playing games together now though too, so maybe it's good practise!

pellmell · 01/07/2008 23:18

Thankyou so much for this thread........
my dd (3 last month) seems to do this to the extreme too.
It's bloody exhausting !
On the other hand dd1 (18 years) is autistic and has never played like this and I yearned for her to do it so I musn't grumble

madamez · 01/07/2008 23:22

Oh goody, mine does it too. He is 3.9 now and at present is convinced he is 38 years old and called Naya and goes to work at Waterloo (I do not know where any of this is from) but he has previously been a goose, a mallard, a pussycat, Lucy from 64 Zoo Lane and any amount of trams and trains.

jollydo · 01/07/2008 23:38

Where do they get their ideas from!
Mine also has an imaginary town which he talks about a lot, complete with imaginary friends with very strange long names. He doesn't actually pretend to talk to them, just tells me what he's done with them / what car they drive / what their house is like etc.

AbstractMouse · 01/07/2008 23:42

Dd 4 does this but she's usually a make believe friend from wales or texas who's mum has chucked her out????? I do despair some days when I can't keep up with the names, but some of the stuff she comes out with is priceless.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 01/07/2008 23:43

LOL! My DS (3.3 yrs) is usually either "The Doctor", a "Ciderman" (Cyberman to you and I), or, a power ranger.

I'd say you have little to worry about.

Compared to me anyway....DS this morning was crawling around the floor saying "I'm a pony, I'm a pony", and I was saying "yes dear" in my usual busy-making-packed-lunch fashion and somewhat irritated that he should be trying to dress himself. Then DD started laughing and saying "Look at him mumma, look at his bum". Cue panic from me as he has just started wearing pants instead of nappies this week. Should I have worried? ABSOBLOODYLUTELY!!! He'd stuck his "big boy pants" in the crack of his bare arse to pretend it was a tail!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DirtySexyMummy · 01/07/2008 23:48

Oh yes, my DS likes to be Lucy from 64 Zoo Lane as well madamez. (except we have to call it 64, 64, 64 Zoo Lane, every time )

Often, he is Manny and I am Kelly. Again,

And often, he is me and I am him. And he puts on a squeaky voice and tells me to do things. Once more -

harpomarx · 01/07/2008 23:53

dd (3) is often in character as a 'brat' (the 'z' is silent) or a 'fashion moggle'.

I have clearly taught her the important things in life...

Joolyjoolyjoo · 02/07/2008 00:30

Yup- my dd (3.1) has all sorts of weird and wonderful roles, and her 7mth old brother gets given a role too- so if she is a pirate, he is "pirate-baby" and hoists her up the rigging, apparently, or saves her from sharks (even though he appears to just be sitting there chewing his own socks!) Sometimes she is Sportacus and he is baby-Sportacus. her big sister (4.6) doesn't make-believe so much, but this morning they were "Max and Ruby"

ummadam · 02/07/2008 11:11

Aged about 6 my younger brother was frequently "susan" a little girl who came to play with me - complete with "her" own skirt in the cupboard that he used to guard possesively.

Used to freak my dad out but my mum just ignored it. Apparently I was none to impressed either and thought he was "silly".

Grew out of it before moving to middle school, is now hideously embarrassed when anyone mentions it (well you would be wouldn't you) but is completely normal, no long term psychological damage and not even remotely effeminate! (and is straight before anyone asks! ;) )

Jux · 02/07/2008 11:20

No sweat. When I was that age I would be either Jonathon or Jeremy and woe betide my mum if she got it wrong.

ummadam · 02/07/2008 11:23

thanks for the memory jog Jux, I was jamie (from jamie and the magic torch) and absoluetely HAD to have my dad's torch with me at all times........

desperatehousewifetoo · 02/07/2008 12:35

I'm sure when children do this it must mean they are very bright

love2sleep · 02/07/2008 13:43

DS1 (3) is like this which is fine except when I'm trying to tell him off. Last week he escaped into the front garden and my attempt to sternly tell him off failed completely.

Me: DS1 you must not come into the front garden by yourself.
DS1: I'm not DS1 I'm Postman Pat
Me: You must not come into the front garden by yourself.
DS1: It's not the front garden it's Daddy's work. I'm delivering a letter.
Me: You must not come here by yourself.
DS1: I'm not by myself I've got my cat Jess with me.

AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!

MrsMacaroon · 02/07/2008 13:55

this thread makes me want to be 3

love2sleep · 02/07/2008 13:58

I know what you mean MM.
I used to think that ds1 had only got dh's genes but now that this nonsense has started I'm sure he has some of mine too

AbstractMouse · 02/07/2008 14:02

Oh god vvv you have just reminded me, dd spent a whole week a while ago with various things tucked in her knickers to make a tail lol

Turniphead1 · 02/07/2008 14:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

pinkpeanut · 02/07/2008 14:18

My ds was an obsessive role player too, and he is very very bright and has an amazing imagination.

He was mostly Jack sparrow and used to go around offering his friends some rum!

He's 5 now and has passed through this stage but I'm missing it now I have read all of your posts!

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