How to deal with stealing in a nearly 5 year old?

[Flier]

Three times now in the last 2 weeks, my ds has stolen. First was a toy when he visited the primary 1 class, 2nd was money from a charity box at the nursery and 3rd was today, he took one of those crappy toys from inside those yotoy shoes that they sell in Clarks.

Now, today, when I discovered he had this toy, he was marched back to clarks and made to gave it back to one of the assistants and apologise. He was mortified, was in tears and very angry.

When he took the money from the charity box I told him how disappointed I was with him and explained why he shouldn't have taken it and I then put it back. I forgot to get hom to take the toy back that he took from the P classroom, it was a wee plastic frog.

Now, I obviously don't want this behaviour to continut, so I'd like to know how you would have handled this or any tips on what to do if this happens again.

anyone?

A friend of mine's 5yo (nearly 6yo) is going through a similar phase. She found 2 £5 notes in his bedside table so she put him in the car, took him down to the police station, told the desk person she wanted to report a theft and the duty seargant (sp?) came out and had a stern word with him. He hasn't done it again.

However, that was money, which he took out of his dad's wallet and hid. I suspect your little boy is just seeing something he wants and putting it in his pocket without really realising it counts as stealing. I'm not sure a 4yo's understanding of right and wrong is developed enough to grasp the implications of what he's doing.

I think you did the right thing in making him return the toys and say sorry but you may just need to keep a really close eye until this kleptomania phase passes.

'I'm not sure a 4yo's understanding of right and wrong is developed enough to grasp the implications of what he's doing'.

I feel I should clarify that a bit more. What I mean is, he's possibly not yet at a stage where his reasoning can go beyond 'I like that, I want it, so I'll have it'. Even if he knows stealing is wrong, 4yos are by nature impetuous and can't really think through consequences.

It's the same as them seeing a massive puddle and thinking 'ooh, look a puddle, I'm going to jump in it'. Splash 'Oh, now I'm all wet'. If he was a bit older he'd look at the puddle and think 'it's a puddle, if I jump in it I'll get wet, so I won't' but 4yo brains just aren't that developed.

So if he's taken they toy and you talk it through he will hopefully understand that it's wrong but that may not necessarily be enough to make him apply it to a different item/shop or stop him doing it again.

thanks olihan, thats what I thought, so I guess I'll just have to keep a closer eye on him and talking it through with him.