Am I giving baby enough attention during the day?

[RCollinge]

Hi. I am a partner in a business that we only set up just over a year ago. Due to our combined household income, we are not entitled to help with childcare, which means that I'm working from home and looking after baby.

She is now 13 weeks old and is a very happy, healthy little girl. I'm still breastfeeding and she is stacking on the weight (has more than doubled birth weight).

I feel guilty that I'm trying to do so much and that maybe I'm not giving her enough of my time. She is quite happy entertaining herself in her baby gym or on a playmat surrounded by all her various toys and bears - that she has taken to batting around!

I would say that I do make sure I devote at least a couple of hours of time to playing with her. I talk to her constantly, even when I'm on the computer (I just ramble on complete rubbish and talk about what I'm doing - the neighbours must think I'm losing the plot!). I also make sure we go out for a walk at least once a day even if it's just for 10 minutes.

When daddy gets home, he has his time with her while I catch up on the hours of work I missed.

I'm just worried that she needs more attention from me and that I might stunt her development?

It sounds like she is doing beautifully. I too, worried about devoting enough time to ds when he was that age but really they do need to learn to be alone some or you will wind up with a child who always expects you to entertain her.

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I've been wondering the same (ds is 14 weeks). Never quite sure how much attention I am supposed to be giving him. That said I read the other day that more than anything, babies just like to fit into the family and are very often just happy to be around us, doing what we are doing and teaching them about family life. I keep a close eye on him if I am doing something else and hey, if he needs something, he tends to let me know!

I don't think they need that much attention at that age, sounds like you're doing fine to me!

No, I think you are fine.

My ds3 is happy, happy, happy - he's 5 months old and I talk and sing to him but because I've got 2 other ds's age 2 and almost 4 and they 'talk' it means they do probably get most of the attention. DS3 gets lots of stimulation from watching the boys and listening to them and he comes everywhere with us (obviously!) so is often at playgroup, toddler group, friends houses with other kids.

I remember when I only had ds1 - as a baby he was perfectly happy to lie under his gym for hours and I just got on with jobs, chatting to him sometimes but certainly not constantly.

Forgot to say, I also work for myself so work from home and when just had ds1 he was very much in your dd's position - they'll let you know when they need more attention, don't worry!!!

Definately OK. Make the most of this time when she is happy to just lie and amuse herself, because it won't last too long. Remember that practicaly everything she sees, even if it's something as boring as a skirting board, is brand new to her, so is amazingly exciting.

I'd say take the lead from dd she sounds happy enough. Trust me if she weren't you'd know...

my dd was a nightmare and couldn't/wouldn't entertain herself. ds (5 months now) was the complete opposite... loves to lie around on the floor with his toys and just me babbling at him. I do make sure I go and play with him every now and again, but he's happy as so I'm not worried and neither should you be

Enjoy it whilst it lasts. DD (3 years) just started a phase of 'can I xyz, can I can I can I can I... and usually xyz involves me having to do something with her