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3.5 yo socially/ emotionally immature DS- help!

3 replies

fruitsalad · 27/06/2008 22:19

DS seems very immature to me which I find v. difficult at times. His speech came quite late and is still not great for his age. I think he sometimes struggles to express himself. He is very highly strung and when he encounters something he doesn't want to do, we often get high pitched whining instead of 'I don't want to' or similar.

He seems to think off on a tangent to most other 3 year olds. He is not heavily into anything like dinosaurs, cars etc. and is in his element helping me or DH with cooking or gardening, even getting the things for me to change DS2's nappy! When on his own he just lolls around a lot of the time or messes around with DS2's baby toys. He doesn't play with his toys for more than 10 mins unless I play with him. This gets irritating and I just feels guilty when he lolls around doing nothing!

I'm also worried about his interaction with other children. He gets excited at the prospect of playdates though sitting together having a snack is about the extent of his interaction unless the other child is extremely sociable and says 'come on DS, lets do this'. Otherwise he plays on his own still. Also he will still snatch his toys back off a visiting friend. I have tried modelling what he should say to ask for the toy back. But generally, he doesn't say much to other children. I can see some of his peers giving him strange looks as he just doesn't talk back to them . Or if he does speak, it's a bit strange. He has been at pre-school since October for 2 sessions a week and has no friends yet, not sure how worried I should be? So, I guess what I'm wondering is- Has anyone else got a child like this and how can I help or should I be worried?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
2shoes · 27/06/2008 23:01

can't help but he sounds lovely

avenanap · 27/06/2008 23:07

I seriously would't worry. He sounds like a normal 3.5 year old to me. Give him some time and he'll change. He wants to be with you rather than by himself. Make the most of it. Its perfectly normal. Snatching is normal, he's still learning. Some kids pick up the social side of things a bit slower then others, there's nothing wrong with this. he's not spending enough time at pre school to make friends, at this age they are very fickle anyway.

edam · 27/06/2008 23:08

He does sound like a very helpful little boy.

My ds is a bit older so I've probably forgotten lots about 3yos BUT a lot of this sounds quite normal to me - 3yos are generally not great at sharing or sustained co-operation. The talking thing might concern me but plenty of children are just a bit late with their speech - I know lots of families where the child was referred to a SALT but within a few months has come on in leaps and bounds before they even got the initial assessment.

Have you asked pre-school what they think of his speech? Is your HV any use?

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