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Behaviour/development

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Does anyone else's DC refuse to be left at a friend's??

2 replies

Dottoressa · 27/06/2008 19:36

DS is just six, and has always been clingy. We've cracked the "leaving him at school" thing (after some initial problems), and he will now even be left at Beavers for an hour. However, he refuses point blank to play at friends' houses without me being there.

Does anyone else's DC do the same? I have left DS once, so that I could go to parents' afternoon. I left him for 20 minutes with the nanny of one of his classmates (he knows the nanny very well, and likes her and his classmate), and he howled for 20 minutes.

I think he has managed to wind himself up into a frame of mind whereby he will make sure he makes a fuss if left - but, at the same time, he does have a clingy personality. A friend has invited him to play next Sunday, and he wants to go - so long as I go with him.

This is fine (sort of), except for the fact that, like most of his school friends, she lives miles away (independent prep school, so huge catchment area). As DH will be away, this means I shall have to take DD (4) too!

Has anyone else had a similar child - and at what point did they venture forth alone??

I am not pushing him, as I do know that his personality is not the type that would respond well to a "you'll be fine, see you later" kind of approach (unlike DD, who would even now go to play at friends' houses on her own!!)

I've tried taking him to friends' houses and saying that I'm just nipping out for ten minutes and will be back at (whatever time), but it provokes an anxiety attack. It sometimes feels that he's trying to use it to get attention; but then he is an anxious little person, and there is undoubtedly a level of genuine anxiety there.

I know he'll probably agree to leave me at some point in the next 20 years, but in the meantime I would be very grateful for any advice!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
buzzcocks · 27/06/2008 23:27

Leave it be for now, 6 is still very young.

Dottoressa · 28/06/2008 09:40

Thank you!

I am inclined to think that 6 is still very young - it's just hard to remember that, sometimes, when his classmates were having sleepovers in Reception!

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