what do you do/say when your dc is badly behaved at nursery?

[deaconblue]

ds is 26 months, for the past 4 weeks he has been hitting and throwing a lot. 2 weeks ago we started using the "thinking spot" as a consequence (has to sit away from toys etc and gets ignored for 2 minutes-ish) whihc is what nursery uses too. I have seen an improvement but I suspect this is because I watch him like a hawk and remind him what would happen if he smacked when I see him lift his hand, and this makes him lower his hand mostly.
when he's with my mum (an hour occasionally) or at nursery ( 3 mornings a week) it's just as bad. Today he pushed lots, threw a toy at a child and threw a little girl's dinner on the floor twice.
so what do I do when he's been like that and I've not been there? Seems pointless to impose a "punishment" as he won't remember the "crime" but I feel awful for the children he's been unpleasant to.

btw his baby sister is 8 weeks old and I think this behaviour is connected but I try to give him so much positive attention during the day that I often feel guilty about how little she gets. Some days she only gets cuddled when I'm feeding her and once he's gone to bed ;(

don't worry about it

it's normal - it's a phase - he'll grow out of it

you can't do anything it has to be dealt with instantly

Do you think I'm right to warn him? I wonder if he's worse at nursery because they are not able to watch him so carefully and so he doesn't get a warning to change his behaviour before he does it iyswim

I always wonder this too!

I pick DS up from nursery and they say to me 'DS did X today' and then look expectantly at me.

I just tend to say 'oh really? he hasnt done that at home recently'
What else can I say? Its up to them to discipline at the time when he is there I thibk and I will dispcipline at home when he misbahves...

He will calm down quite quickly though. He is most likely a bit of sorts from the new baby arriving. I've been there... DS2 is now 4 months and DS1 is 30 months and he has settled right down now.

thnak you, htat is so good to hear. I just said "ds, mummy is very sad when you do pushing" and then made supportive noises as she told me the rest. I don't think she expected action tbh, I think she has to inform the parent when the child's been awful. Will be so pleased when this phase is over though, I find it really wearing and a bit sad too, as he's so lovely most of the time.

i think you have to try and stop feeling guilty about your DD, maybe your DS is feeling the guilty vibes somehow?

can you keep her in a sling for some of the time and then at least you know she is being "cuddled" while you interact with DS. this is what one of my friends did and it worked well for her.