clingy 2.5 year old.only wants mummy

[cheesesarnie]

he wants carrying lots(which i find hard),only mummy can take him to tiolet,see to him in night(hes waking lots),help him in any way.he wont go to his dad,or anyone else.its driving me mad!its only been past month or so.i love that he wants me but ......argh

It is a phase, but how you handle it will help it pass quicker.

Be firm, let you dh deal with him in the night, take him to the loo. Just say 'no daddy will do it'. He'll kick up a fuss for a bit but be consistent.

Don't push him to go to DH for cuddles, let him know you are there for as much affection as he wants, but you can't do everything for him.

Also, instead of carrying all the time offer to hold hands instead.

Good luck, don't you just love this age?

i forgot this age with the other two!blanked it out maybe?.i'll try those things thankyou.what if like lastnight when dh went to him he was screaming and chucking himself all over the place?do i still leave it to dh or do we give up?

I would persevere if you can (easier said than done)

DS2 recently had a stage of playing up if I went in at night - 'I need you mummy', 'come back mummy' 'get in my bed mummy'. Yet if DH went in and said 'go to sleep' he would just go to sleep .

It came to a head the other week when DH was away for a few nights. He shouted and got out of bed repeatedly for nearly 2 hours and I just kept putting him back and saying 'go to sleep'. Then he did and he hasn't done it since

thankyou

Actually I agree that it is a phase, but I handle this my meet my childs need for me, rather than telling them they can't have me. I accept that as their mother I am the centre of the universe to them and as such it is only natural that they will want me more that their dad. Both my kids are well bonded to their dad and have a great relationship with him, but they are naturally closer to me.

I would go to him in the night, take him to the toilet, whatever, let him see that you are there for him and e will soon settle and his need for you will grdually decrease.

It's a phase, it will pass, go with the flow and let him be a needy toddler, he's not being naughty or manipulative.

Monkies

i know hes not doing it to be naughty or manipulative.
we have thought that actually it may not just be coincedence that he keeps saying about his recently deceased granny going in a nee nar.maybe he thinks im off too

Aha!! Now, you see that is probably it. Something has happened recently which has left him unsettled and as a result he is needing some extra reassurance. Sadly disturbed sleep is a very common symptom of stress or just change, most babies/toddlers will wakie for no obvious reason when they are crossing Milestones like starting to walk etc.

I'd grit your teeth and just go to him, sooth him and reassure him and when the phase passes you can start getting a decent nights sleep again. Not what you wanted to hear I'm sure, but under the circumstances it's the most humane course of action. I think Martin Samuel puts it really well.

Monkies

why do you think its not want i want to hear?

LOL!

"I'd grit your teeth and just go to him, sooth him and reassure him and when the phase passes you can start getting a decent nights sleep again."

That bit. Because I wouldn't want to hear someone telling me I was probably going to have to get up in the night to settle a restless toddler for the next few nights/weeks, I'd much rather hear that my toddler was going to suddenly start sleeping through and I'd get a good nights kip too!!

Monkies

(by the way, do you have a sling? a ring sling or ergo-type carrier would allow you to carry him lots during the day whilst he's being clingy without your arms falling off and your back caving in.)

we go in at least once a night anyway.so not at all bothered by seing to him in the night.
we used slings right up until he was 2 and by then it was a case of give up or break back!