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Elaborate and very frequent thumb-sucking - anyone else's child do it and do I need to worry?

14 replies

icanbakeacake · 26/06/2008 13:15

DS (4) has sucked his thumb when tired since he was about six months old. He has had bouts of doing it more often than at other times, but recently - say, in the past month or so - is doing it sooo much; almost constantly at home.

He does some elaborate sleeve twiddling and twisting while he does it, with the non-sucking hand, so can't do pretty much anything else at the same time. He came home from pre-school upset yesterday, as the staff had apparently asked him to stop sucking when it was tidying up time (so he would actually have his hands free to tidy up! A fair request). He said they'd hurt his feelings. He also said another girl there had said he looked like a baby, which didn't seem to bother him, although I wonder if he'll feel differently about more of this kind of ribbing in the autumn, once at school.

DS's father and I separated seven months ago, so he has had an unsettling time of late. I understand his need for a bit of extra comfort, and believe children should be free to comfort themselves when tired/poorly/bored (this is why DS says he does it - he insists he isn't unhappy). However, I have read that children who suck their thumbs past about three years old are inwardly unhappy which I feel sad and worried about.

So, is this a genuine problem? Do I need to do anything about it? Or is it, as with many things, just a bit of a phase and it'll pass?

TIA

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icanbakeacake · 26/06/2008 13:23

Anyone?

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totalmisfit · 26/06/2008 13:39

i don't know if i have any real advice, but dd is also an ardent thumb sucker (2.3) and isn't showing any signs of stopping.

i've never discouraged it, until now - her thumb is swollen and red, and the skin is peeling. looks awful.

I don't think kids who suck their thumb past the age of 3 are inwardly unhappy, however. seems more likely that it's just a comforting habit they haven't grown out of.

Don't worry. i'm sure someone else will come along who knows more about how to solve this problem.

Sunshine78 · 26/06/2008 13:39

Had same problem with my 4 year old recently. painted his nails with some stuff from boots - meant to stop you biting nails but has stopped him sucking his thumb (said on bottle not subtible for under 7's but hasn't done him any harm)

smallwhitecat · 26/06/2008 13:45

This reply has been deleted

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petitmaman · 26/06/2008 18:47

Bollocks to the unhappy child thing. I sucked my thumb (mostly in bed) until i was 9. was v happy though.
my 6 year old dd still sucks hers, mainly when tired. howver she has had comments from girls at school that she is a baby. i said that some people see it as babyish so if she doesnt want the comments perhaps just to do it in bed. or ignore comments. i dont have a problem with it and i know nothing would have stopped me. all though am starting to discourage it when out and about.
btw my mum also sucked her thumb until she was 53!!! we both have perfect front teeth

icanbakeacake · 26/06/2008 20:42

Thanks - encouraging posts.

I have wondered if, with the lighter evenings and attendant later bedtimes, DS is a little bit tired most of the time. I could experiment with earlier bedtimes for a week and see what happens.

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yousaidit · 26/06/2008 20:44

dd is 2 and has sucked her middle fingers from birth and sucks them when she is tired, content, bored, distraced, asleep, awake.... i went to docs to see if she was going to get opinty fingers or buck teeth (dh frets!) and gp said its a comfort blanket for dd!

Pollyanna · 26/06/2008 20:48

my dd who is 3.6 still sucks her thumb. ~She likes to stroke my hair while she is doing it which is rather limiting for both of us
She does it alot of the time and isn't unhappy as far as I can tell.

mistressmiggins · 26/06/2008 20:48

my DD(4) sucks her thumb constantly and even swaps thumbs if you take one out.
I am hoping she doesnt suck it when she starts school in Sept purely cos Idont want her picked on
I am a tad concerned about her teeth BUT I had exactly the same thread last month & MN persuaded me not to worry

www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=67&threadid=473161#9555876

chunkypudding · 26/06/2008 20:51

am 34 this year and still (very secretly, don't tell) suck my thumb...

am very embarrassed by it but promise you I'm not an unhappy child

its a tiredness/comfort thing, and i tend to stroke my hair on my lip. not many people know or have seen me do it, dp thinks I look like a twonk. Which I do. But not in public, and at least I don't smoke anymore!!!

has felt weirder since I've been bf I must admit.

And before I make you stress about what your ds may grow up to be, I'd like to add that I am a socially adept, successful company director and trainee mum and am generally seen to be happy and 'normal' as well as a secret thumbsucker

wrinklytum · 26/06/2008 20:52

ds is 4 due to start school in September and still sucks his thumb when tired/upset.I am not too concerned as feel he will grow out of it when ready.My in-laws bang on about it and disapprove but ds has had enough to stress about in last few months (Poorly Daddy and little sis) so I am trying not to be too bothered about something that obviously comforts him.

Surfermum · 26/06/2008 20:53

Dd has always sucked her thumb and does it when she is tired, not unhappy. I have always been happy to let her. She was sucking it on her scan and has sucked it since very tiny.

When she started school I had a chat with her about only sucking it at home, for the same reason as you MM. I can remember a girl on the first day at senior school being laughed at because she was sucking her thumb in class. She seems to understand and now, if we're out and she's tired she will ask me if it's OK for her to suck it.

Oh and I'm a 46 year old thumb sucker - although I only do it these days subconsciously in my sleep - and I'm the happiest I have ever been.

madhairday · 26/06/2008 20:56

My dd who is 7 sucks her thumb constantly. She's not unhappy but do worry about her because of teasing at school and also she has pushed her teeth right out. I know this can be corrected but she gets upset about it. we do try and stop it but nothing has worked. Will watch with interest. I think it's fine in moderation/when tired, just that she does it constantly and it affects her school work etc.

icanbakeacake · 26/06/2008 22:20

Thanks again. Some reassuring posts. I'm not anti thumb-sucking at all; it's a valid and valued comforter. It's the frequency and fiddliness with which DS is doing it at the moment - as well as that flipping book! - which worry me.

DS and I have chatted a lot about the changes over the past six months or so, and while I know he doesn't necessarily like it that Mummy and Daddy are not living together anymore, he seems to have accepted it, and when not sucking his thumb, is a feisty, lively, happy little lad. Just at the weekend, relatives commented that "that boy is always happy". So, note to self: stop worrying!

Thank you all again.

(PS I sucked my thumb until I was about seven, and my teeth are fab. )

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