Hello. I have 3 girls aged 7, 5 and one month. I feel guilty to say that I find my oldest to be quite different from my 5 year old. She is more likely to upset her younger sister by saying something mean and saying something very intentionally that will wind her sister up, something the younger sister rarely does and I am finding myself always having to tell the older one off for her behaviour and rarely have to tell the younger sister off. Tonight, after she had said something silly like her sister's hair was horrible, younger sister cried, I told her off for saying something that would hurt her sister's feelings and she flew into 'you love her more than me, you never tell her off'. I don't tell her sister off very much but that's because she doesn't do that sort of thing. It made me feel awful to think that she thought I didn't love her as much, I always say I love all of them equally, etc but I suppose to her it makes sense as I seem to always be telling her off, not her sister. I think we are a bit confrontational and I do tend to believe her sister's side of the story as she is just more likely to tell the truth but I am worried how this is now impacting on my oldest.
What can I do to try and change her behaviour or do I let it go a bit more or how can I make us less confrontational?
Sorry, I have really gone on here but wanted to try and be clear in the hope that someone has gone through something similar and can say how they dealt with it.
Thanks.