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Behaviour/development

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9 year old sexual curiosity?

4 replies

Tryingtobeagoodmom · 10/07/2026 10:51

My DD is 9 years old and I caught her with her shorts down. I asked her why her shorts were down and she lied to me and kept lying until the truth finally came out. She puts her blanket in between her legs and rolls on her bed until she feels “weird” then goes back to bed. She has been doing this for a while. She doesn’t have access to phones, internet, nothing. I’m now wondering if I’ve failed as a mother and where this behaviour has come from. It’s just me taking care of both children, I’m there for all their activities, there’s no 3rd party involved. I don’t know how to handle this. I feel so disappointed that I didn’t catch this sooner and disappointed that she does this. Someone please help me, what do I do?

OP posts:
JackandVictor · 10/07/2026 10:54

I think it's perfectly normal and she's obviously found it out naturally that it feels nice because as you said she doesn't have the internet etc. I'm not sure why you're so disappointed to be honest. The only thing I think needs making clear and I wouldn't have a clue how to go about that. Is that this is behaviour for private and not something to be sharing with other people.

PoorPhaedra · 10/07/2026 10:55

It’s totally normal behaviour for little girls. Nothing for her to be ashamed about.

Tryingtobeagoodmom · 10/07/2026 13:05

Thank you both for your responses

OP posts:
Oxymorons · 10/07/2026 13:11

What she is doing is perfectly normal, she isn't doing anything wrong, and you haven't failed her. She felt comfortable talking to you about it, however any next steps from you need to be very sensitively done. It would suggest she is exploring her body and early sexual feelings, so it's probably a good time to explore these topics with her. What you don't ever want to suggest is what she is doing is wrong or bad on any level. Maybe you could reflect on your response to her, it seems you view it as something bad or disappointing? This is such a crucial time for her development and being able to talk about it as a normal part of development is so important for her now and her future. There are a lot of good books on sexual development and adolescence that might be easier for her to read in her own time and way too

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