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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What do you do when baby screams every time you put him down?

16 replies

rickman · 28/01/2005 17:33

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OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

kernowcat · 28/01/2005 17:40

If you stay within sight does he still cry? My Ds was the same I found putting him in a bouncy chair with a baby gym worked for awhile as long as I was still close by. Sorry not much help i Know, good luck!

highlander · 28/01/2005 18:10

my DS went through that stage as well. I put him in a baby carrier (him facing out) as he loved his view of the world to change every 2 secs!

As he developed and could actually play effectively with toys (particularly when he could use both hands in co-operation) he was much happier to be left under the baby gym. He reached this stage at about 16-17 weeks. However, babies' attention span is still very short, so don't expect him to stay amused for more than 10 mins! When I out him down I try to play peek-a-boo for a couple of minutes down at his level and that seems to reassure him. He seems to get bored of me and will voluntarily shift his attention to the toys.

I suspect with my DS, now that he can move around, that he is maybe a bit refluxy. On the days that he possets a lot, I limit his lying down time and try to carry him upright in the carrier.

Original poster

rickman · 28/01/2005 19:27

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shrub · 28/01/2005 20:02

i bought an 'ergo sling' - you can where it on your front on have them on your back (like a piggy back - can't remember from what age you can do this?) so you can get on with other stuff

handlemecarefully · 28/01/2005 22:05

Both my kids were like this until they were circa 6 months old and could sit up...and they chilled even more at circa 7 months old when they started commando crawling. However between 12 weeks and 6 months when they were more alert than a newborn but basically immobile and helpless they wanted carrying around all the time because they were bored brainless and frustrated. I think it is a phase that must be gone through - and IMO I think its unusual that your other kids were not like that as babies ...(you were lucky).

Agree with the others that a good baby carrier is a godsend. The wilkinet baby carrier is fantastic.

handlemecarefully · 28/01/2005 22:06

Re the bath thing - I just didn't during this phase. Had 2 minute functional showers instead.

highlander · 29/01/2005 00:17

HMC - how do you rate your baby carrier versus the Baby Bjorn? I'm finding my shoulders are sore with the BB. But then DS is a bit of a porker

Original poster

rickman · 29/01/2005 08:47

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lunavix · 29/01/2005 08:50

My ds (9 months) has become super clingy and because he still isn't crawling gets very frustrated like hmc says. I'm thinking of etting one of those hipseats apparently their better for your back?

Ellbell · 29/01/2005 09:53

Just a note to back the Wilkinet. It's brilliant - the only baby carrier I could use without getting backache after the first 5 minutes. It looks a bit wierd at first, but you soon get used to it. I used that with dd2 all the time (she was a bit like how you describe - especially at certain times of day).

Another thought. I don't know if your baby is a bit old for this now, but have you tried cranial osteopathy? Again, my dd2 was determined that I would carry her around all the time, and it just wasn't always practical as I had no family nearby, another dd under 2 and when dd2 was 8 weeks old dh started a new job and was away on a training course for 5 weeks! We went for two sessions of osteo and she was like a different baby. Still a bit clingy, but it definitely helped with the constant crying. I was a bit sceptical, but I'm a convert now!

As for having a bath/shower. Just remember that it won't hurt your baby if you leave him to cry occasionally for a short time. This is what I had to do with dd2 during that period when dh was away - I'd put her in her cot when she seemed fairly chilled and then jump in and out of the bath/shower as fast as I could. I knew she'd be crying by the time I finished, but ... well... it was that or be stinky, so I lived with it! I'm not a fan of controlled crying, but I felt that in this instance it was a case of 'needs must'.

Good luck. Oh, and it probably is just 'a phase'. My clingy dd is now highly independent, and cries and clings much less than her older sister!

Stripymouse · 29/01/2005 10:04

rickman - total sympathy. My DD1 was like this for ages and ages. Tried every suggestion, read every book etc. and no tactic seemed to work. In the end I went round to our neighbours, apologised for all the distrubance and explained that I was aware it was difficult for them but was doing my best, I told them thatI was going to try the controlled crying thing out of desperation to see if I could crack it and please be patient but let me know when it got too much etc...God only knows what they said behind my back but they were really kind and understanding to my face! I did the controlled crying thing, gradually building it up and TBH not convinced it worked, reckon she just grew out of it. At night I think she continued waking, I was just so exhausted that I finally stopped hearing her and thought she was sleeping through - nature?s way of forcing her into a routine while my body shutting down
I am so sorry you are going through this - be nice to yourself and keep telling yourself that "it is only for a short while, some babies just like to yell whatever you do or don?t do, and it will get better" - ten times every five minutes

handlemecarefully · 31/01/2005 09:45

Sorry about the shower remark Rickman - tactless in the circumstances when you don't have one and can't afford them. Would agree with Ellbell - babe will need to cry for a little while whilst you have a bath (stressful, I know - but can't be avoided)

Highlander - the wilkinet is brilliant. It moulds to your body so baby's weight is distributed evenly

aloha · 31/01/2005 10:27

This reply has been deleted

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Lonelymum · 31/01/2005 10:59

Not really much help, but could you take ds into the bath with you? That might address your not being able to have a bath problem.

jibberjabber · 31/01/2005 11:04

Have to agree with posts on the slings -

I had the same thing when my DS was tiny. get a papoose, used to really calm him down. I did everything in it - hoover/cook etc.

What about white noise? Hairdryer/wash machine/hoover/radio tuned out?

DecafArabica · 31/01/2005 11:59

My DS (who also used to hate being put down) also used to love his Wilkinet, then as soon as he was old enough I used a back-pack. I can't remember how old they have to be for one of those thoughbut it was brilliant, 2 hands free! Re bathtime, we didn't have shower either, but for some reason, he loved the bathmat, so I would put him down on the bathmat and he would be happy staring at everything in the bathroom for a good, oh, 5 minutes! But they were 5 minutes of bathtime bliss. Best thing was to grab anyone that came to visit and make them hold him while I had bath. Good luckand happy bathtimes.

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