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4 year old who talks to herself

15 replies

newscot · 28/01/2005 13:32

My first time on mumsnet. Does anybody else have experience of this with their child? DD1 (4.7)talks to herself all the time. However it is usually not the type of conversation where she is working something through (i.e how to put on her coat) She recites lines from stories, things that have been said at nursery and things that I have said, often a long time ago. She often uses quite a sing song voice or other inflections to how she speaks. When she is in full flow it is hard to get her attention and she often seems in a world of her own. I have asked if she does this at Nursery and they say only when she is a bit stressed about something (one day she saw a boy with a cut head and that upset her) She seems to do it most at home and with people she is relaxed with. She was doing it before dd2 (4 months) was born but it does seem to have got worse lately. Her conversational and social skills are fair but not brilliant and I feel she is a bit immature for her age. I worry how she will cope at school next year.
Any suggestions or anybody else faced a similar thing, I would love to hear from you

OP posts:
sievehead · 28/01/2005 13:35

I think this is quite a normal thing, especially with girls. My DD1 was like this, its part of their imaginary world. She used to spend whole days pretending she was with Harry, Hermione and Ron from Harry Potter. I don't think its anything to worry about, just maybe is showing that she has a good imagination.

Lonelymum · 28/01/2005 13:36

My dd is 4.10 and she sounds just like your dd. She tells stories out loud all the time and it is a pure delight to listen to her. I wish I could record her talking but she always stops when she realises I am listening. I know it is perfectly natural. They must have amazingly vivid imaginations and be very creative. Also, it is your dd's way of sifting through life's experiences and making some sense of them.

My dd is at school but I remember thinking about this time last year will she ever be able to cope with school? You still have 8 months to go and a lot of developing will occur in that time, believe me.

marialuisa · 28/01/2005 13:37

DD is nearly 4 and talks to herself when playing or whatever. I thought talking to yourself was normal TBH!

Lucycat · 28/01/2005 13:42

Please don't worry. I think it's lovely when they talk to themselves. My dd1 (4.9) does it all the time, she will re-enact things that happened ages ago and she loves making up stories too, just wait until dd2 is old enough to be her maid/servant/school pupil etc that's what we get now and dd2 is 21mths, poor thing probably doesn't know what her real name is, dd1 calls her by so many made up names. is it just a girl thing?

motherinferior · 28/01/2005 13:45

My dd1 will be four next week and conducts a constant stream of conversation with a tribe of imaginary friends/pets. The other evening she led them all in a march through the park and along the main road to our home, singing DIDDLUM TWO THREE FOUR all the way, apart from the times when she turned round to chivvy them. Father Christmas, apparently, was lagging behind.

Quite honestly, I enjoy it.

Casmie · 28/01/2005 13:49

Ds1 is 4 in May and also talks to himself quite a lot while playing and will sing his teddies songs, etc.

I think it's rather cute

Lucycat · 28/01/2005 13:50

I think we should make the most of it! Give them all 10 years and they won't want to speak to anyone!! (except their friends on the phone all night!)

Hausfrau · 28/01/2005 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tararyanleah · 28/01/2005 13:58

I was a little concerned about my daughter (4 aswell) as she was always singing and talking to herself even though she has an older sister and brother to talk to! However, at Christmas when I was talking to some of the mums at school about the new singing Barbie Dolls, it turned out that almost all the little girls in her class were the same! They just seem to live in this amazing,wonderful,fantasy world. Hey, and why not?! It's really cute to listen to isn't it?

newscot · 28/01/2005 14:16

Thanks for all your messages. It is reassuring to hear so many of you have similar experiences. I'm probably being a bit paranoid but when I see other girls her age, their language and behaviour seems so sophisticated.

OP posts:
twiglett · 29/01/2005 08:01

DS tells himself the most involved stories, which also include things that have happened in RL / conversations that I've been part of

he's 4 next month

I love it, I think its adorable

and it is totally normal, as everyone says

I am surprised the teachers didn't comment on how normal it is TBH

oh and welcome on board

Stripymouse · 29/01/2005 08:07

My dd1 - 3 and a half - does this constantly, also talks to her imaginary friends and to her toys! Seems happy and fairly normal to me.
If it is a tactic to help her cope emotionally I reckon it is a good thing - better to have a harmless release than to have a physical reaction to stress such as lashing out or being sick. I bet she copes fine at school.

winnie · 29/01/2005 08:21

newscot, welcome to mumsnet
Like others here I think your dd's behaviour is completely normal. Both my children have done this. Dd actually had an imaginary friend
I too think it is lovely and not a thing to worry about.

Bel2709 · 09/02/2021 15:27

I have just had a zoom meeting with my 4 year old play school teacher as they are worried about his speech. My son never stops talking to himself when at home. He sings, he narrates books and talks to people he met more than 12 months ago! He us always very confident in his conversations and gets into a world of his own. I must say I really enjoy listening to him talk and we all completely ignore him and sometime join in. The nursery suggested a referral to a speech therapist but I have decided to hold onto that for now as I know he can talk well but chooses to talk to his imaginary friends. Very glad to see that a lot of self talkers are out there.

Supergirl1958 · 26/07/2023 18:48

Bel2709 · 09/02/2021 15:27

I have just had a zoom meeting with my 4 year old play school teacher as they are worried about his speech. My son never stops talking to himself when at home. He sings, he narrates books and talks to people he met more than 12 months ago! He us always very confident in his conversations and gets into a world of his own. I must say I really enjoy listening to him talk and we all completely ignore him and sometime join in. The nursery suggested a referral to a speech therapist but I have decided to hold onto that for now as I know he can talk well but chooses to talk to his imaginary friends. Very glad to see that a lot of self talkers are out there.

@Bel2709

does your son still do this?

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