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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Child scratching herself when overwhelmed by school and daily demands

1 reply

Ponderinggg · 17/06/2026 13:36

My 12-year-old daughter scratches herself when she’s overwhelmed, and I’m wondering if anyone else’s child does something similar.

The two most recent examples were when she was behind with homework and became convinced she couldn’t catch up. Even when I broke it down into smaller steps, she felt overwhelmed by the whole thing. I left her for a short while and came back to find she’d been scratching herself.

Another time she was upset about going to school. It was a rushed morning, she was crying and saying she didn’t want to go. I told her she still needed to get dressed and get ready for school, and when I came back she still hadn’t got dressed but had scratched her entire body.

When she’s in these states, she says she feels overwhelmed and scared. She’s also said things like she wants to scratch her eyeballs out, pull her ears off, and rip her skin off. To me, it seems like she’s trying to describe just how unbearable the feeling is, but it’s obviously very concerning to hear.

We’re currently pursuing an ADHD/autism assessment, but I’m interested to know whether other parents have seen this kind of response to overwhelm, anxiety, school stress, or demand avoidance.

If your child has done this, were they able to explain why? What helped them in those moments? I’d really appreciate hearing others’ experiences.

OP posts:
ExplodingSmittens · 17/06/2026 17:19

If you’re already on the Pathway, it might be that she actually can’t explain why she does self harm. The easiest way to tell if she can is to do this simple SaLT progress checker.

Just wondering if you’ve mentioned the self harm to the School and if she has an ECHP in place?

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