4 year old is aggressive, hits and throws things

[Amysullivan]

I am at my wits end. My 4 year old boy is the most loving child ever when he is in the right mood but more often than not at the minute he is in a foul mood. He will throw things (anything near him), hit and generally speak to me with an attitude. I have spoken to the nursery and he isn’t as bad there at all, he’s had a few incidents where they’ve said he’s not very good at controlling his emotions but he’s not throwing or being aggressive there. He has been referred and is waiting to be assessed for autism/ adhd but the wait is so long and I don’t know what to do in the meantime. It’s actually making me really upset because he’s such a sweetheart and a nice boy he just can’t control his emotions at all. I’m struggling to keep calm with him now too as he has siblings that are often in danger. Please help child beg

Are you getting any help whilst he’s waiting to being assessed? Is he having any input from SaLT and does he have an ECHP yet?

No, the pre school gave us different things to try at home though. He was being really good before the half term and then I think being out of routine has made him worse again.
He doesn’t really have any delays or problems with other things, his speech is fine and he’s very social. He just has anger issues and sometimes struggles with transitions but pre school have said this has improved a lot with a timer

The anger does sound as though he’s getting overwhelmed. My DC2 has a diagnosis of AuDHD and most people wouldn’t notice the problem that they have with communication. I think if he’s already on the Pathway, then it’s worth doing this simple progress checker. If it says that he needs some support then he’ll need a referral to SaLT and for a hearing test. Your HV should be able to do these referrals for you, if he does need support.

Have a look too at getting an ECHP in place as soon as you can. If he’s getting overwhelmed in Nursery, that may well ramp up once he’s in School and there are far more Children per adult and much more demands on him.