12 month old - development/autism worries

[Anxiousaligator]

Hi, I really didn’t want to post here and not sure if I’m Just being an anxious first time mum, but here goes, my baby turned 1 in the middle of May. She started nursery at the end of April and I have noticed some progression but not as much as I thought her development would have come on by this point. Let me point out some concerns/non concerns below to see if anyone can advise me?

non-concerns-
-wave sometimes (not always on command)
-sits unaided
-joins in high five
-babbles a lot - has said dada duck and dog but not a lot - babbles all the time though
-gives Eye contact (just not all the time)
-responds to name (unless occupied/busy)
-Can sit up from lie down position
-reaches towards something she wants and moans for it
-Reaches out to be picked up
-Bares weight on her legs
-laughs when singing certain songs with actions
-has just learnt to rock back and forth on all fours in bed sometimes
-sleeps relatively well - not the worst/not the best but has slept through the night a few times

concerns-
-doesn’t point
-doesn’t crawl
-doesn’t pull to stand
-doesn’t cruise along things holding on
-flicks fingers when playing ALOT
-if something excites her, kicks legs so hard and squeezes and clenches fists/fingers and just gets very very excited
-loves lights, bubbles and spinning things
-sits on bottom and spins in circles
-Doesn’t bring objects to show me
-inconsistent eye contact
-spins when standing between my legs holding on (sometimes)

i’m driving myself crazy wondering if I’m doing enough. She has watched some ms Rachel and Mickey Mouse clubhouse over the last year to allow me to do tasks around the house and get myself ready and get so excited when they are on (as mentioned above - leg kicking, clenching etc etc ) and now I feel like am I to blame for letting her watch tv!? I am now really limiting this and trying to just interact more but is it too late? I feel awful and don’t know how to shake this feeling, she was such a wanted baby and I feel like I’ve failed her already.

PLEASE BE KIND - I already feel awful 😞

ps- I have spoke to HV & nursery - nursery have raised concerns with physical development but HV said because she is bearing weight on legs they aren’t concerned at this point. We have set a date to review but what I’m looking for is some mum advise, did you babies take a lot longer to reach my concerned milestones and are perfectly fine or is she pointing towards a autism diagnosis?

she is on the chunkier side so sometimes I wonder if the gross skills are lacking because of this, I haven’t overly taught her pointing to be honest, which I’m working on now.

sometimes I wonder if it’s just me but I also think sometimes my concerns are completely warranted.

parenting is a huge mix of overwhelming happiness and overwhelming worry.

Please help this anxious mama put her mind at rest!

Hi! I think at this point the honest answer is probably that it’s just too early to tell. She does seem to have some good age appropriate skills but as you’ve noted she is also a bit late for her age on some milestones. Child development is a funny thing and sometimes children with a few delayed or missed milestones at 1 year do just catch up, and others go on to continue to show delays and need more intervention or will eventually get a diagnosis. Did the HV give you anything specific to do to support her and continue to develop her skills? At this point I’d try to focus on what you can do now to support her where she is currently rather than try to predict what she will or won’t do in the future.

Just to carry on building on these skills and interact as much as possible, she hates to be on her front and when I sit her up and put toys a bit further away she just gets so worked up and cries for me rather than trying to reach them one way or another.

Yeah it’s really hard, I don’t know who that advice works for as my daughter did the same! I’d say at your next HV appointment you could push more for a referral to physio, my daughter had physio as an infant and they were able to give me much more specific advice/exercises to do with her. It sounds like you have a really good idea of what she is/isn’t doing and what the milestones are so it doesn’t sound like anything you are or aren’t doing, don’t be too hard on yourself!