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Behaviour/development

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Autism or just his personality?

6 replies

xxFloraxx · 26/05/2026 19:05

I have concerns if my son has Autism or if this is typical of toddlers or just his personality? He has recently turned 3 years old.

  • He does not give eye contact ever since birth. I know he can see well as he can respond to whats in front of him or far away. But he will avoid eye contact, it's super rare if he glances at me or anyone. He will stare at the wall if you talk to him.
  • Whilst I thought he was imaginative, it does seem repetitive. He also will avoid animals or human like toys as they seem to scare him. His own teddys on his bed seem to scare him too so he will avoid interaction with them. He will use objects as 'people' instead that tend to represent a family. The imaginative games tend to be the family of (whatever objects he chooses) goes to a cafe, toilet and soft play repeatedly or he will want to act out a favourite show or book repeatedly and play nothing else.
  • He's recently new at his nursery, but they said he just watches the other kids and doesn't join in. He also seems to 'wait for permission' when to get on or off toilet or to get a toy out of a bag (despite all of our practice and encouragement)
  • Playing with kids: if a child goes up to ask to play, he will get upset and say no each time and will cry if they try to play. He can play near children but will only play with me or his dad.
  • He doesn't look at me or point to something to get me to see, he will just say the thing that interests him out loud 'an air vent!' 'a fan' (interests are machines, does not care for animals/people)
  • When he walks into preschool he won't wave bye or hello and won't wave to someone unless i ask him to 'wave good bye'.
  • Background: I took him to toddler classes, social activities and meet ups every day his whole life, always giving him the chance to socialise without pushing him. We rarely watch tv and spend a lot of time playing together.

This all could be normal! It's mainly the eye contact and social interaction which has me worrying. Wondering if anyone can relate? if this is just typical toddler? or signs of autism? When see by a health visitor in the past they said they had no concerns as he 'showed interest in her, but was not too affectionate'. He hits all his milestones fine.

OP posts:
Lunbellerosa · 27/05/2026 12:02

What has your health visitor said at his check ups?

Edit:

Sorry just seen you said the health visitor said no concerns. No eye contact at all would be a concern for me. Can he form sentences and ask for what he wants? "I want the blue car" or " I want a drink mummy" "Can I have a biscuit"

How is his understanding? Can he follow 2 step instructions without a visual clue?

Can he point to body parts/colours/shapes when asked?

TinyMouseTheatre · 27/05/2026 22:19

If he’s not making any eye contact, and you’re concerned enough to ask on here, then I think I would start by filling out the 36 month So Ila & Emotional Ages & Stages and seeing how he scores.

It’s really good that he’s talking and he’s meeting his milestones. Do you think when he does talk he could be using Gesalt Language processing?

xxFloraxx · 27/05/2026 22:29

Lunbellerosa · 27/05/2026 12:02

What has your health visitor said at his check ups?

Edit:

Sorry just seen you said the health visitor said no concerns. No eye contact at all would be a concern for me. Can he form sentences and ask for what he wants? "I want the blue car" or " I want a drink mummy" "Can I have a biscuit"

How is his understanding? Can he follow 2 step instructions without a visual clue?

Can he point to body parts/colours/shapes when asked?

Edited

Yes he can talk in sentences fine, he can make up stories (although usually about the same characters/scenes), create games, makes up his own jokes and ask questions. He can follow instructions fine if i ask him to do anything. Yes he can point to body parts/colours/shapes when asked. I'm concerned about the no eye contact too but the health visitor/children centre staff/nursery would not have an issue with it or even ask why i am concerned about it.

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 28/05/2026 05:45

Sorry that should have said “Social & Emotional Ages & Stages” Smile

xxFloraxx · 28/05/2026 11:21

TinyMouseTheatre · 27/05/2026 22:19

If he’s not making any eye contact, and you’re concerned enough to ask on here, then I think I would start by filling out the 36 month So Ila & Emotional Ages & Stages and seeing how he scores.

It’s really good that he’s talking and he’s meeting his milestones. Do you think when he does talk he could be using Gesalt Language processing?

Thank you so much I will fill this in, at least will help me understand a bit more what is typical vs Autism. I don't think he repeats phrases we say, but thank you for bringing me aware of Gestalt Language as I've not heard of this. He does repeat some things by wording it as if we want him to question/quiz him even though he knows the answer e.g. "what's mummy's middle name" and then despite answering it himself he will keep bringing this up, not sure if it relates?

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 28/05/2026 11:25

xxFloraxx · 28/05/2026 11:21

Thank you so much I will fill this in, at least will help me understand a bit more what is typical vs Autism. I don't think he repeats phrases we say, but thank you for bringing me aware of Gestalt Language as I've not heard of this. He does repeat some things by wording it as if we want him to question/quiz him even though he knows the answer e.g. "what's mummy's middle name" and then despite answering it himself he will keep bringing this up, not sure if it relates?

It does sound as though he may need help with communication but I’m not an expert. The simplest way to find out is to fill in the progress checker from Speech & Language UK Smile

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