Daughter struggling with move to new nursery room

[Madmamma2026]

My DD has just moved room at nursery and she's finding it difficult. We've done absolutely everything possible to make her feel positive about the change and get her excited.

She had about 5 visits before the first day in the new room so it was quite gradual and she did quite well during those but is really missing one of her little friends in particular and keeps mentioning this other little girl who she was inseparable from.

She's saying at bedtime that she wants to go back to her old nursery room.

It's so hard to watch her sad. We try to distract her but everything seems to lead back to her little friend. She's been in the new room a few days now and is mostly getting on OK but seems to spend a lot of time following her new key worker.

I know it'll get better in time and we're pragmatic about that but she's been a bit clingy even at home for a while, waking upset in the night looking for us even before this so we're a bit concerned about how long it'll take to settle down.

Any advice on what will help?

I think I would talk to her key worker and see if she had any advice for getting her to settle.

How old is she btw? No chance if her back molars coming through?

I’m afraid that five visits may not be enough for her to fully adjust.
Transition periods usually take at least 1–2 weeks, and in some cases it can take 1–2 months before a child feels comfortable in a new preschool environment. Parents can use different techniques to support the process. There are some helpful ideas in this article: Toddler Preschool Transition Tips
Here are a few things you can try:
1. Focus on positive things about the new preschool.
Gently redirect her attention to activities she might enjoy there, without comparing it to her previous preschool. For example: “I wonder if you’ll paint or play outside tomorrow.”
2.. Write a letter together.
You can help her write a thank-you letter to her previous preschool, or a letter telling her old teachers about the fun things she is doing in her new preschool. This can help her process the change and acknowledge that it’s okay to miss the old place while also enjoying the new one.
3. Provide a comfort item.
A small comfort object, such as a favorite keychain, bracelet, or soft toy, can help her feel more secur
4.. Talk to her new teachers.
Ask them how she is doing during the day and whether they have noticed any positive signs of adjustment.
Most importantly, listen to her feelings and let her know that you are there to support her.If things do not improve after about three months, it may be helpful to consult a child psychologist or another specialist.I hope things get easier soon.

Thanks - her molars are all through. She’s just turned three and has moved up to her new nursery room following that.

I think a lot of it centres around the little friend left behind bless her.

Thanks for that.

She’s spent about an hour in the new room, which is next door to the old room, on 5 occasions over the past 3 weeks but has only had 2 full days there. The move follows her turning 3 so moving up to preschool room.

She’s become quite comfortable with the new key worker now but is really missing this little friend, They were inseparable. Also missing the old nursery room but I think that also relates to the little friend.

The staff in the new room have been great but I’m not sure how to navigate the situation with missing the little friend.

My DD went through something very similar at nursery and I remember how hard it was to watch. The good news is it really does pass quicker than you think!
A few things that helped us:
The key worker attachment is actually a really positive sign — it means she's looking for a safe base in the new room, which is healthy. Once she feels secure with that person, she'll naturally start branching out to the other children.
For the missing friend, could you arrange a little playdate outside of nursery? Even just once helped my DD so much — she realised the friendship wasn't gone, just different now.
The night waking is tough, especially if it was already happening before. We found a consistent bedtime routine with lots of calm reassurance (not too much talking about worries though, as that can sometimes make it bigger in their heads at that hour) really helped.
She sounds like a child who loves deeply and forms strong bonds — that's a beautiful quality even if it makes transitions harder. Hang in there, it really will settle down. 💛

I'd second the suggestion to try to arrange a playdate or two with the little friend. Do you know roughly when the friend is three? It might not be a long separation.

Both of mine have formed early friendships, and out of sync room transitions have sometimes been tricky (and then separation to different primary schools...). Occasionally the friendship has died off fairly quickly once they are no longer together, but other times with a bit of effort from the parents to keep up contact, it has developed into a really nice friendship outside of nursery/school (and once they are school age, a valuable source of all-day playdates in the school holidays!).