5 year old DD ‘wiggling’ too much at school!

[namechangeagain89]

Evening all,

My DD, 5 likes to wiggle. We noticed it at home and just thought it was a normal phase and told her this has to be done privately and not in front of other people.

When she was in nursery last year they pulled me up on it a couple of times and just asked if this is normal behaviour from her and if she does it at home etc. I explained that she does and we just try to distract.

Fast forward to reception year and her teacher mentioned to me at the end of last year that she’s noticed it and asked if it’s something we’ve noticed which we told her we have. She asked if anything triggers it which I can’t pin point and genuinely think she just does it because it feels nice!

I received a call from her teacher today who said she’s doing it more frequently. Asked if I’ve noticed an increase at home (which I haven’t) and said it’s becoming distracting as she’s doing it at carpet time and other pupils are starting to notice etc. The teacher advised me to make a GP appointment? I work in a GP surgery and told the teacher I really doubt there would be anything the GP would be able to do. She suffers with UTI’s due to having a medical condition but I always rule this out with a urine dip.

Obviously mortified but unsure what I can do! Has anyone experienced anything similar? I’ve talked with her again tonight and just explained our bodies are ours and should be kept private.

At a loss and feel quite alone as it’s a taboo subject!

When she does it at home, you say you try to distract her. I think the message needs to be stronger and absolutely consistent – that's private. If you want to do that, that's fine, but you need to go to your room.

It does sound like she's doing it rather more, and over a longer period of time, than is common, which may be why the teacher has suggested the GP.

I think there’s several approaches…. to stop it happening in school or public, distract with an alternative but also with a clear and consistent message “that’s something that’s fine to do but only in private”.

Also, trying to pinpoint the cause…. because it feels good, or to reduce anxiety? It will be easier to find an alternative if the reason is understood as then you can help to find another way to meet that need.

Too much stimulation can cause UTIs which you say she suffers from, so there could be a link there. Also is she going for a wee when needed or is she holding it? Holding it can increase UTI but the feeling of needing a wee can also feel similar to stimulation, so that could be a link too.

It could be worth speaking to GP as they could refer to a specialist counsellor if it is becoming an issue - which if it’s becoming a distraction to classmates then it sounds is the case.

This is a sensory need.. I don’t know what you mean by wiggle but it sounds like you see it as a sexualised behaviour. She’s only 5 so she doesn’t need to feel any shame for whatever it is she needs to do and shouldn’t be asked to go to her room. This is likely to be a sensory need and providing the right input through the day will help to lessen the behaviours your think aren’t so appropriate.

school can help by putting in sensory movement breaks and also considering her other needs to lessen feelings of overwhelm