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baby not saying mama dada, when to worry?

40 replies

sabi10 · 20/06/2008 21:32

Hi
just dont know where else to turn to as dh thinks im worrying too much and Gp has tells me he wouldn't be worried unless he was 2.
My lo is 11 and half months old , but was born at 29 weeks prematuely so has a corrected age of 9 months to the day. .He is not saying mama, dadda etc at all which all the books say hes should be now.I am worried sick as a so called friend (whos never actually met my lo)has told me that lack of this at this stage is mostly caused by mental retardation as she phrased it!he is prem so is high risk she tells me.
Hes a very happy little boy ,very alert and into everything, sat up at 6 month corrected. backward crawling, tummy cammando crawling and rolling everywhere.he can get from lying to sitting himself and vice versa, finger feeds(infact demants those organic crispthings when he sees the bag i keep them in), very socaibale and loves peek aboo and pat a cake. in fact the only thing worrying me is his speech.).He says da and ba. He blows rasberries, clicks, imitates coughs. coos alot and does alot of sing song vowel sounds with a few constents .he makes more contsents when he has his fingers in his mouth . Just no constents together yet. like mama or dada. he seems to understands his name, loves nursey rhymes, and puts his hands up to be picked up, claps,and waves bye.
Was not to worried before,just so proud of what hes doing. just thought it might be that he was prem(he had no major problems in nicu),. He also had a bad ear infection 3 months ago and burst his ear drum which has rehealed and his hearing test then was ok. He had started to say da. ba but stopped 2 weeks ago with another ear infection but is restating to say da and boo just today. Can having ear infections in which he hears ok ie turns to his name and laughs at nursey rhymes effect his babbling? he still is pulling his ear but the gp says the ear infection has gone.
The other thing is my parents are spanish and we spend about week a month with them and we speak no english.speak only english to the lo at other times. read somewhere that can delay things. again never thought this would be a problem.
please give me your honest opinons, managed to get an appoint to see the pead in 2 weeks but am driving my self mad by googling mental retardation and speech delay.
excuse the spelling and grammer.
thakinh you so much

OP posts:
cyberseraphim · 21/06/2008 07:27

he seems to understands his name, loves nursey rhymes, and puts his hands up to be picked up, claps,and waves bye.

These are clear signs of normal development - I would avoid a 'friend' like that !

Seashell71 · 21/06/2008 07:36

Einstein didn't utter a word until he was 3, so you've got nothing to worry about

Clary · 24/06/2008 13:47

Not to be unhelpful to OP but Einstein generally agreed now to have been on autistic spectrum. Just get a bit tired of reading that as support for parents of non-talkers as it?s really not relevant.

Kewcumber · 24/06/2008 13:51

sabi - my DS was a 26 weeker so I know what you mean by looking for problmes. It is hard to relax and enjoy them as they are. But do try. Start by punching politely telling your friend her views are not welcome.

He sounds perfectly normal to me.

BlueberryPancake · 24/06/2008 17:26

I understand your position and worries, it is so hard when other peopletell you that your baby should do this and say that. The range of learning is so wide. I have a girlfriend whose daughter (at 12 months old) had about 20 words vocabulary, but I think that's really unusual. My DS2 started saying DADDY at 11 months old, but everyone was DADDY. The neighbour, me, his gran. We were on a bus one day and he pointed at this big scary guy and shouted 'DADDY' which was really funny. He is now 14 months old and only says Daddy and Matty (brother's name).

DS2 was also an 'average' speaker with some words at 18 months and three-word sentences at 2, not before.

I speak to them in both French and English, and I think that it has an influence on how quickly they learn.

One thing that really helped DS1 with language was to sing a a couple of nursery songs over and over again, and then leave a word out. He started by saying 'baba'when there was a gap, and after a while he would say the word. Am I making sense?

wibbleweed · 25/06/2008 11:15

Please don't worry - and please ignore the so called heartless and totally misinformed 'friend'. My DS1 had lots of babble but no proper 'words' until 16 months, but was virtually fluent by 2. And my DS2 is now 17 months and doesn't have any words yet (including mama/dada type stuff) and I'm not worrying. Enjoy those baby-turning into-toddler days J x

katw3kitts · 25/06/2008 11:22

She calls herself a friend ????

My son was born a month early and I do think it makes a difference to some aspects of their development. He is 18 months now and makes NO recognisable words.

I'm not worried at all. He is bright, happy and alert and understands simple commands.

In a couple of years you'll laugh at your worries now, when you've got a toddler that you can't shut up !

ChukkyPig · 25/06/2008 11:25

My DD is 11 1/2 months old as well, but not premature in fact she was two weeks late so if anything is really one.

She only says ba and da and I haven't been worried at all. In fact everyone keeps going on about how advanced she is! Thinking about it done of the babies from my post-natal group are coming out with anything much other than ba, da and the occasional ma.

Your friend sounds horrible and ill-informed. No need to worry for ages and ages yet.

BouncingTurtle · 25/06/2008 11:25

Your friend sounds horrible!

Please do encourage your Spanish relatives to talk to your ds in their language - my Dad is Spanish, and used to talk to me in Spanish. This stopped when my brothers who are twins were slow to talk and would only babble to each other - they needed speech therapy, and the Speech Therapist told my parents to stick to English only . Totally wrong to do this! Their speech delay was nothing to do with my dad speaking Spanish to them, and everything to do with them being twins!!!
As a results I forgot all the Spanish I learnt as I was actively discouraged from speaking it
Am still not hugely fluent now, but can get by!

BouncingTurtle · 25/06/2008 11:25

Your friend sounds horrible!

Please do encourage your Spanish relatives to talk to your ds in their language - my Dad is Spanish, and used to talk to me in Spanish. This stopped when my brothers who are twins were slow to talk and would only babble to each other - they needed speech therapy, and the Speech Therapist told my parents to stick to English only . Totally wrong to do this! Their speech delay was nothing to do with my dad speaking Spanish to them, and everything to do with them being twins!!!
As a results I forgot all the Spanish I learnt as I was actively discouraged from speaking it
Am still not hugely fluent now, but can get by!

Bekkie32 · 26/06/2008 13:45

Hi there, I know the feeling..our daughter is 10 months and we have NO babbling..just abit of cooing. She did babble at around 3-4 months then it stopped. As she is also developmentally behind in a few other areas I have more cause for concern. She was in hospital and had every test under the sun doen..to include a hearing test and a MRI scan on her brain. All results came back ok...so she is keeping us wondering... She smiles, laughs, loves eye contact, seems to hear us, understands when I say "daddy" or "where is daddy" etc... She has just started to kind of point to a few things.. We just have delays on her motorskills. AND..we are also a bilingual family..me english, husband german and we live in germany. I am assuming that as she has been late in all other areas, learning to roll, sitting, etc..that all this will come later too. Our ped. is aware and will refer us to the necessary specialists as and when necessary..she will be starting physio soon to strengthen her muscles and get her so she starts to pull herself up into standing and to crawl. But all in all our little girl seems like a bright spark..mentally alert and with it.looks for objects when they are hideden etc.. So we will have to wait and see...but your baby is doing more than ours..so really do not worry..if your baby is supposedly mentally retarded then what is ours?? Ignore that comment from your so-called friend.

MummyToOneForNow · 26/06/2008 15:04

dd has no words at nearly 19 mths apart from "yah" which means yes when she wants something. I have no doubts about her hearing or intelligence - she understands clearly enough - takes herself off upstairs looking for her bath towel when I say it is bathtime, shaking her head and crying when I say it is time for her nap etc . No sign of mama/dada yet! (btw she took her first steps at 18mths so slightly delayed motor skills too)

ChickenWoman · 26/06/2008 15:10

My DS (19m) has never said mama, or dada, or anything at all really, - so yesterday a speach and language therapist (who he has being seeing at the children's centre for a while) came for an assessment at home, - where he promptly sang to her an almost word perfect rendition of 'The Hokey Cokey' and said 'Bye' when she left!

He hadn't done it before then, and he hasn't done it since!

Babies choose what they focus on to perform, repeat or develop. It doesn't mean there is any problem!

EffiePerine · 26/06/2008 15:17

he sounds like his communication is fine, despite no 'mam' (incidentally DS said dada pretty early on, but no mama till a few months ago and he's 20mo. Ms are harder).

Yes, ditch the friend. Yes, ditch the books. Your DS sounds like he is doing great

wulfricsmummy · 26/06/2008 22:08

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