Sibling squabbling - what do you do?

[FossilSister]

DDs 3 and 5 going through constant squabbling, poking, pinching phase. Ignore? Punish? Seperate? Drink?

Ignore and Drink.

DS (6) and DD (4) are still at it. They would squabble about who is breathing in the most air, given half a chance.

Strategies depend on level of patience/tiredness/how many hours it's been going on for...

Ignore (so long as DS isn't being really violent).

Make them play separately.

Offer them 10 minutes of my time each (timed on a kitchen timer), and toss a coin for who gets first go.

Respective cool-down corners.

Warning for nipping/kicking/etc, then the re-offender is removed from the room for 4/6 minutes. I really object to violence, esp. as DD always comes off far worse (though she does wind DS up something rotten...)

Gin and tonic.

Allow them to call each other the three worst things they can think of (they have to think very, very carefully, as they only have three insults!!) Fortunately, the worst insult they know is "poo-poo head". It normally ends up in laughter, but I only bring it out if really desperate!!

Isn't it wearisome? Good luck...

DS (6) and DD (4) are still at it. They would squabble about who is breathing in the most air, given half a chance.

Strategies depend on level of patience/tiredness/how many hours it's been going on for...

Ignore (so long as DS isn't being really violent).

Make them play separately.

Offer them 10 minutes of my time each (timed on a kitchen timer), and toss a coin for who gets first go.

Respective cool-down corners.

Warning for nipping/kicking/etc, then the re-offender is removed from the room for 4/6 minutes. I really object to violence, esp. as DD always comes off far worse (though she does wind DS up something rotten...)

Gin and tonic.

Allow them to call each other the three worst things they can think of (they have to think very, very carefully, as they only have three insults!!) Fortunately, the worst insult they know is "poo-poo head". It normally ends up in laughter, but I only bring it out if really desperate!!

Isn't it wearisome? Good luck...

Shut the door on them and let then sort it out!They will soon et bored

Why did it post this twice? Hmm. I only pressed "post message" once... (either that, or all the squabbling has driven me loopy).

I like the three worst insults idea. Will add that to my repertoire.

Thanks Dot. Good ideas. And I thought it was just a phase! Might as well ask for a bag of magic beans then.
Come to think of it, I remember pulling out handfuls of my sister's hair.

This book is very good

The 3 insults is a good idea. Mine are still at it, aged 11, 9, 8 and 4. Hope they dont come up with anything too bad, and I fear that one child might prove to be supremely better at insulting than the others - who would then require insult coaching...still, its worth a try!

Yes, I second the sibling rivalry book. DCs are gradually getting the hang of finding solutions that suit them both, sometimes without any help from me. But sometimes you end up making a mountain out of a molehill over something incredibly trivial that is only causing them to fight because of the mood they are in. In which case the insults thing seems like a good idea to change the mood.

i remember with me and my sisters my mum used to make us all sit on seperate chairs and tell us we had to stay there a certain amount of time.

it worked but not in the way that she thought it did. as soon as she left the room we were off our allocated chairs and running around in circles, just to be naughty. but it meant that we were united against my mum so the fighting stopped, untill the next time anyway.

Have ordered book from amazon. Thanks Constance

Another vote for the Siblings without Rivalry book. Hope it helps

Sorry to tell you this but mine are still constantly squabbling at the age of 12 and 8.

From the moment they open their eyes in the morning, they are looking for reasons to kill each other.

Mine are the same age but have a ds and a dd.

Any violence is santioned immediately with the offender or offenders being sent to his or her room. If ds lashes out at dd after she has been poking him, then both are in trouble.

If there is no violence , I warn them that they have to the count of 20 to sort the issue out for themselves. If they do not do it in this time, I will come and sort it out for them. Mummy's solutions involve everyone losing and no one getting the disputed item and often both being in trouble. They almost always resolve within the required time and ds (5) is now very good at negotiated agreements. I think you have to start by suggesting a number of possible resolutions for these situations.