Does this level of picky eating sound normal for a toddler?

[wonteatfood]

My child is 2.5 and I'm just wondering if this sounds like normal toddler fussiness?
It's becoming increasingly difficult to get them to eat meals. I think the only thing I can get them to eat is plain spaghetti, chips, the occasional nugget, sometimes beans but rarely nowadays. Toast is hit and miss. They'll eat cheese and sometimes the cracker. Yogurts but only petit filous- nothing else will do. Sometimes I can get them to drink a smoothie carton. That is pretty much it. They will eat biscuits or chocolate or crisps but not pom bears or quavers- they have to be normal potato crisps. They still have milk in the morning and evening in a bottle as I'm too scared to change this incase they lose their main source of calories.
Some days they'll only have milk, a yogurt, some cheese and crackers and a few chips all day.
I know it's a normal age to go off food as they're not growing so fast, but this is every single day for months and months.
I'm not sure if it's relevant but they grind their teeth a lot- I've not completely removed his dummy for this reason. They'll put sand and stones in their mouth given the opportunity but again I tend to let them have their dummy on the beach as that'll disuade them a bit.

They're under speech and language and their language level is about a year behind according to the tick boxes.They throw up on about 80% of all car journeys of any length (over half an hour)- just mentioning incase relevant and it's an added reason why I'm worried about food intake if they're throwing up at least once a week in the car.
Sorry- this has become a bit of an essay!
I'm just wondering if this sounds standard toddler? I have very little to compare it to, and when I've tried mentioning to friends they say 'oh such and such has days like that' while their child polished off a plate of veggie curry and rice in front of me. I can only dream of my kid eating anything resembling a proper meal!

I was thinking it sounds within the realms of normal until you said they could go a day without eating.

I think given the speech delay, the possible pica and the reliance on bottles I’d be looking at ARFID.

You could talk to the Birmingham Food Refusal Service but in your position I think I’d be trying to get a formal diagnosis.

You could start by asking to see your HV and ask for a referral to a
Paediatric Dietitian.

I would also fill in both of these before seeing the HV and ask her to score them:

2.5 year Ages & Stages

and the 2.5 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages.

Let us know how you get on

Picky eating is completely normal in toddlers. How was your son weaning? Is the picky phase relatively new or has he always had issues with food?

I would cut the milk, a small amount in a cup with breakfast, fine but no 2.5 year old needs milk in a bottle and it fills them up so less likely to eat solids.

How is your sons communication? Is he able to point, wave, and follow instructions?

Whilst picky eating is normal in toddlers in my experience (my son will be 2.5 next month) what you're describing seems more excessive than that, plus the lack of eating at all.

The putting stones and objects in his mouth alongside the speech delay would want me to investigate further. I presume you've recently had your 27 month review?

We had the review and the only thing flagged up was speech and language- he does try and communicate though by leading us or pointing and saying something (unintelligible mostly) but because he's already under speech and language she didn't really say much about it (He's very sociable though). When he concentrated he could listen and complete most tasks but was very easily distracted and wouldn't listen or respond if he was busy. She said that should improve when he goes to school...
I did mention the fussy eating and she sent me some leaflets and suggestions and said she'll review in 6 months to see how he's getting on

He weaned ok but has never had much interest in food really. He'd always been a chunky baby so we didn't worry too much at first. I'd say the foods he will eat have got dramatically less over the last year though. He's also very slim now in comparisson but I realise this is quite normal to happen.

I'd happily give him a cup of milk with breakfast (he does drink well out of an open cup too) if there was anything he'd actually eat for breakfast! It's probably the most stressful meal time- he'll ask for several different things and not eat any of them and he gets really fractious and frustrated with it. I've tried to go along with the leaflets the HV gave me and give him what he wants/asks for (within reason) to keep it low stress but the amount of food we waste is a lot.
He communicates ok (although does get frustrated we don't understand), waves and points, though was nearly 2 before he'd point.