How do I get my 14mth old to sleep through the night?

[manicmama]

He has never been a good sleeper and has woken up at least once per night ever since he was born. There have been a few weeks when he has slept through but it has not lasted.

I am so tired! He wakes up in the night, at any time between 2am and 5am and screams for England. I try to comfort him, but that does not work, I give him calpol, I give him water. He is then quiet until he finishes his bottle of water and then he screams again. Sometimes he will go back to sleep if I give him milk but not always. If I leave him to cry he takes up to an hour / an hour and a half to settle himself back down (sounds cruel but I have been trying everything I can think of).

If I pick him up he calms down fairly quickly and then starts pointing at things wanting to talk and play

He only ever sleeps for a max 2 hours per day and goes down to sleep at 7pm very easily.

Please, please give me some suggestions!! I know it must be dealing with this crying business all wrong.

may be overtired. I found that if there was longer than about 4.5 hours between waking from nap and bedtime, nearly always got nightwakings.

Don't pick up, just walk in sooth briefly and walk out again, wait briefly outside, then walk in again etc. This can take a couple of nights to crack, but is less extreme than controlled crying, gives the message you are there but not going to pick up/ play etc.

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Thanks.

I was wondering whether the fact he has his nap in the morning might have something to do with it.

I will check out the website

The fact that he calms quickly if you do pick him up is reassuring as it indicates that there is nothing actually wrong with him. Maybe now is the time for trying controlled crying? I think you need to let him know that you are there, but are not planning to let him get up / play or have attention. I do think CC works, but it does take about 3 days of consistency to get any result. So when he starts crying try going in, lying him back down again, saying a few soothing words and going out again. Try not to stay in the room more than 30 seconds or so and avoid lifting him or cuddling. You then go in every 5 mins until he finally passes out to sleep (some people gradually extend the intervals between going in up to 10 or 15 mins). It's pretty hellish the first couple of nights, especially in the early hours of the morning when you are knackered, but it really does work...... If you do decide to do this remember you have to keep it up - if you don't he'll just learn that if he cries long and hard enough then eventually you will play / cuddle / give milk or whatever.

I think the fact he has his nap in the morning is probably because he hasn't had enough sleep at night and so gets sleepy again in the morning. You may well find that once he is sleeping through his main nap starts to be after lunch.

Yes - I think it is time to get tough - I am just so rubbish at holding my nerve in the middle of the night!

The CC method you mention sounds good, in that you keep going in and reassuring them at regular intervals, rather than extend the time. I am also pathetic at listening to him cry (and have even resorted to wearing ear plugs at times so that I don't rush straight in)

Thanks for the suggestions - please keep them coming

I couldn't do controlled crying in the middle of the night!

Try and push nap forward as much as possible to see if that gets you across the bridge. I would also bring bedtime as early as possible for a few days to compensate, overtiredness is cumulative - so after several nights of waking it builds up. It may take a few early nights to get back on track - but if you manage that the problem will probably go away and you may not have to resort to cc.

When my ds first went to 1 nap - it was a real struggle - he had to get through from 6am wake-up to 12.30 when he could nap. Otherwise he would be overtired by bedtime and wake. Raisins and snacks helped until he got used to it!

can your GP refer you to a sleep clinic, they are around but you have to push for it...

Hi,

My 15 Month year old daughter had never ever slept through the night . She used to wake up screaming night after night , every 2 hours or it could be as little as 10 mins ! We knew that by taking her into the bed, wasn't the greatest idea in the world, but I didn't have the energy to sit up with her, and also couldn't leave her to cry.
However last month, we brought the travel cot into our room and I put a pillow in there and used my pillow cover (with my scent on it), and I noticed the difference immediately. She slept really well for the first time ever, she had a little cry in the middle of the night and settled back to sleep with a dummy.

Cross fingers, but she is still sleeping well. Okay she still wakes a couple of times in the night , but is easily settled with ''milky'' and or a dummy.

Good luck
Talle xx

i think that the problem could be the morning nap. i always wake my 14 month old after a max of 30 mins sleep in the morning. i put him down just before 9 am (after school run) and he usually plays / sings for about 10 minutes. go all quiet by 9.10 usually. my nanny then gets him up around 9.40 am. i always insist on this. he goes down again around 12.15 and is usually asleep by 12.30. i make sure he is up by 2.30 pm. if i let him sleep till 3 pm, which he will do if not woken, he tends to wake up very early the day after the following day (!). to wake, i just go and open curtains or just open the door. he then goes down to sleep for the night around 7.30 pm. up around 6.15 / 6.30 am.

hope this helps. in brief try manipulating his day time sleep.....
good luck!

is still common for children to wake in the night at that age, if that makes you feel any better?
dd goes to sleep in her own room, then when she wakes up at around 3am I stick her in our bed, she goes back to sleep and usually I'm the first to wake in the mornings. worth a try?

cut the day time sleep out for definate. my ds when he was 11 i had to stop all his slepps as he was up till about 2 everynight, he was tired the day i stopped it but after a while slept like an angel.