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20 MONTH OLD DS AND SECOND BABY DUE IN 3 MONTHS PLEASE HELP ME !!

4 replies

sambrads · 20/06/2008 10:14

i am starting to develop problems with my ds.
he used to be so good and content but now he shouts all day yells his head off does everything he is told not to do and never ever listens to me or dh.

i really dont know what to do with him !!
he was in the hgh chair i gave him a drink and he tipped it upside down . i shouted at him dont spill that he just smiled at me and squeased the whole lot out .

he knows he is doing wrong but just loves to see me shout at him.

as for walking beside me that does not happen he runs everywhere and if i hold his hand we need to continuously walk as if you stop he throws the biggest tantrum ever and everyone looks at me as if to say bad parent!!!!

could it be possible that my ds knows there is another baby on the way ???

any advice would be great !!

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cupsoftea · 20/06/2008 10:15

sounds like he's nearly 2!

moosemama · 20/06/2008 10:42

sambrads my 2 boys are exactly two years and eight days apart so DS1 was roughly the same age as yours at the same stage.

I remember thinking exactly the same thing, he knows there's another baby coming and is cross with me or acting out because of it.

I now it sounds trite, but please try not to worry, cupsoftea is absolutely right he is just a normal 2ish year old. Its absolutely normal for him to start testing you at this stage. I found that if I could possibly manage it, ignoring things like the drinks incident worked best - he really wants to get a reaction out of you and it completely takes the wind out of their sails if you just ignore it and quietly clean up the mess. (Hopefully after trying it a couple of times he will think, 'No point in trying that one again - it doesn't work!')

I'm afraid I kept DS1 in his buggy at that age, esp as I was heavily pregnant with SPD and knew I wouldn't stand a chance of catching him if he bolted. I know he probably objects to being strapped in but its probably safer in the short term.

One thing that really helped with DS1 was involving him in the things I was doing, eg carrying some of the washing, drying up his plastic plates and cups, sweeping the floor with a dustpan and brush and helping to wash vegetables/dishes etc. Not only did it keep him occupied, but I think it made him feel like a 'bigger boy' which is exactly what he wanted. It also meant I had more opportunities to tell him what a good boy he was rather than spending all day saying no and other negative things.

You have my sincerest sympathy, but remember 'this too shall pass'. DS1 was, shall we say, 'trying' when his brother came along, but we managed it - and you will too.

Also remember that having two so close in age means that they will be great friends when they are older - my two are 6 and 4 now and are absolutely inseparable, they even miss each other when they are in different classes at school! It also means that they will play together when they are older and give you the odd pocket of peace!

Hope some of this is helpful, just didn't want you to feel alone.

OonaghBhuna · 20/06/2008 11:19

sounds like the terrible twos. This started with dd1 at 18months and then dd2 was born one month later.
its a difficult stage, but try not to get stressed, it does get better. Not much advice here because nothing seemed to work but I just went along with the be=haviour rather than get angry. I think due to this the tantrums didnt last as long.

sambrads · 20/06/2008 16:11

thanks ladies so much

i will just have to put up with it and then see how he is when the baby is born .
its nice to know that im not the only coping with things

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