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Original poster

Is this level of aggression and meltdowns normal in a 2.5-year-old?

6 replies

FlipFlopVibe · 20/04/2026 06:22

Our DS is 2.5, he’s quite tall for his age and very strong. At home, he can lash out but generally this is smacking our legs which we explain isn’t kind. He’s very highly strung and had numerous meltdowns during the day when told he can’t have something. It feels beyond what seems to be normal for a toddler. He’ll flip in seconds from laughing at being naughty to a full on screaming session on the floor when told off.

We’re currently on holiday abroad, a couple of months ago he learnt to climb out of travel cots. At home he’s still in his big cot and doesn’t make any attempt to leave it. For the first time we’ve put him in a bed with a guard. It’s been a total nightmare. Every night for two hours or more at 4am he has got up and started exploring the room (four of us in one room together), this includes turning all the lights on and off, smashing the phone handset, throwing things round the room etc. To get him to lie down and not wake his sister, it takes both DH, me and the bed guard to box him in. That’s when the violence starts, he kicks which really hurts but the worst is the smacking across our faces. We’ll lie still pretending to be asleep and he’ll just launch blows down on my face and then pull my hair. It’s becoming quite terrifying he can hurt us so much. I just laid there sobbing because he then thinks it’s part of a game to restrain him. I have a chronic pain issue and could quite easily end up badly injured soon. I might even have a black eye after tonight’s episode (meant to be photo session on the beach as a family today!).

I don’t know how to deal with this, is it normal? Is it a boisterous male toddler episode they all go through?

OP posts:
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TinyMouseTheatre · 20/04/2026 07:52

It does sound as though there may be something else going on. Does he go to any Childcare and have they raised any issues? How does he score on this simple progress checker?

2UNDR2 · 20/04/2026 13:09

I also have a 2.5 yo boy and can't say any of this sounds normal, but this is only my experience.

Have you had your HV review recently?

TinyMouseTheatre · 20/04/2026 15:26

How is today going @FlipFlopVibe? Flowers

Original poster
FlipFlopVibe · 21/04/2026 07:44

Sorry for the late reply, notifications don’t seem to come through abroad for me.

HV appointment in January went great, no issues at all. Very capable and intelligent. He didn’t seem to lash out so much then. Had a parents evening in February with nursery and they raised no issues either. Said he is happy to play alongside others, will wait his turn etc.

Last night he slept through 11 hours, feeling better for it this morning, however he has been up an hour sat in bed with Dad and me, he’s head butted me, but it seemed more like he was carelessly throwing himself round the bed. He did intentionally kick Dad to the head several times and hit us over the head with his bunny (who has a tracker on so hurt more than you would think). He says sorry, starts laughing, pauses then does it again just as you aren’t watching.

I read something about maladaptive play yesterday, which suggests he is trying in his own way to encourage us to play, hence why it’s just us three he does it with, testing the boundaries. We are going to use the trick of getting up and walking away from him. It did seem to work as it switched his focus to something else.

I was expecting to move him
out his cot after this trip now he’s experienced a bed and we have been close by whilst he gets used to it, now absolutely dreading it! 😩

OP posts:
loryN22 · Yesterday 14:56

FlipFlopVibe · 20/04/2026 06:22

Our DS is 2.5, he’s quite tall for his age and very strong. At home, he can lash out but generally this is smacking our legs which we explain isn’t kind. He’s very highly strung and had numerous meltdowns during the day when told he can’t have something. It feels beyond what seems to be normal for a toddler. He’ll flip in seconds from laughing at being naughty to a full on screaming session on the floor when told off.

We’re currently on holiday abroad, a couple of months ago he learnt to climb out of travel cots. At home he’s still in his big cot and doesn’t make any attempt to leave it. For the first time we’ve put him in a bed with a guard. It’s been a total nightmare. Every night for two hours or more at 4am he has got up and started exploring the room (four of us in one room together), this includes turning all the lights on and off, smashing the phone handset, throwing things round the room etc. To get him to lie down and not wake his sister, it takes both DH, me and the bed guard to box him in. That’s when the violence starts, he kicks which really hurts but the worst is the smacking across our faces. We’ll lie still pretending to be asleep and he’ll just launch blows down on my face and then pull my hair. It’s becoming quite terrifying he can hurt us so much. I just laid there sobbing because he then thinks it’s part of a game to restrain him. I have a chronic pain issue and could quite easily end up badly injured soon. I might even have a black eye after tonight’s episode (meant to be photo session on the beach as a family today!).

I don’t know how to deal with this, is it normal? Is it a boisterous male toddler episode they all go through?

That sounds way beyond “typical toddler chaos”. Hitting faces and doing it while you pretend to sleep is a pattern, not random. I’d honestly push for professional help fast, not wait it out, this isn’t just a phase.

TinyMouseTheatre · Yesterday 15:02

Just wondering if you did the progress checker @FlipFlopVibe?

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