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Help needed 3 yr old with apparent special needs

6 replies

fatheramad · 19/04/2026 04:23

Son is 3 and a half. We have two previous children, both in their very early teens (a boy and a girl), so this child was born after a 9-year gap.

The three-year-old definitely has some form of special needs, but it is not clear what.

He does speak and can very quickly absorb new words and memorize them with amazing accuracy. However, his direct communication is lacking. He doesn't follow verbal instructions. He doesn't always understand danger. He is unwaveringly obsessed with certain things and will untiringly keep returning to that task, despite repeatedly being debuffed. At the same time, he is intelligent.

So as parents can get exhausted and frustrated, he is particularly extremely clingy to mom, giving her no respite.

He does sleep in the afternoons, which helps.

He goes to nursery, but the teachers there complain of the same behavioral issues.

We've been to the GP so many times for a referral to a pediatrician that we have requested, but the waiting list is so long that we still haven't heard, though the GP has referred, or they keep wanting to do ‘other tests’ like blood or audiology. First round of audiology came out ok but slightly inconclusive (because he's too sensitive to instruments).

GP says it's too early to diagnose autism / ADHD, etc

To clarify, he does sometimes play peacefully with toys, but in between, he may suddenly remember something.

He does respond to
Some things. If I say sweet, he will immediately rush forward and look, and may even repeat ‘sweet’. Similar to other things, he will respond to. But other things he doesn't.

Sleeping has been a big issue. He does sleep, but often wakes up way too early, like 4am, for no reason, and it's really difficult to put him back to sleep. Then finally he will sleepafter a long time. Occasionally he does sleep normally. Inexplicable why he does this.

He doesn't directly communicate with other adults or children unless he wants something and then he will will grab their hand take or he may say ‘painting’ etc if that's what he wants.

He is intelligent and has remembered numbers up to 100, and can write the whole alphabet with quite clear handwriting and the numbers and draw things (without us having ways taught it - learnt from books and videos).

essentially he does what he wants and doesn’t follow instructions both at home or nursery. In terms of speech he doesn’t speak in full sentences .

I'm trying to better understand his situation to help him the best I can.

Anyone been in a similar situation and can assist will be appreciated.

OP posts:
fatheramad · 19/04/2026 11:24

Any advice would be appreciated!!

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 19/04/2026 16:29

Do you know where the GP has referred him to @fatheramad? Has he referred him to the iscan team? Are you in England or Wales? Just asking as the systems for support will be different in other countries Smile

fatheramad · 19/04/2026 20:01

Thanks for the reply. I am in London and I don’t actually know where he has been referred to.

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 19/04/2026 20:03

fatheramad · 19/04/2026 20:01

Thanks for the reply. I am in London and I don’t actually know where he has been referred to.

Is it your DS @fatheramad?

fatheramad · 19/04/2026 22:25

Does that mean is the child my son?? If so yes.

OP posts:
TinyMouseTheatre · 20/04/2026 07:18

fatheramad · 19/04/2026 22:25

Does that mean is the child my son?? If so yes.

Just wondered as you don’t know where he’s been referred to. Sorry, thought you were talking about someone else’s DC.

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