Baby development / autism

[Ccjjc]

I am pretty convinced my little one has autism. He’s only 7 weeks old but rarely makes eye contact, stares at lights, very rarely looks at mine or my partners face, will not look at you if he’s distracted by something ‘more interesting’ and doesn’t really track objects. He also just stares into space often. He does however look at his black and white sensory toy immediately if we put it in front of him. We THINK we’ve had a few smiles but again it’s normally at something behind us.

He’s a lovely boy, not overly distressed or calm, somewhere in between. What will be will be but I’m just struggling with the unknown at the moment. I feel like I just have an instinct but my partner thinks I am overanalysing / being over paranoid as I do have very bad anxiety and health anxiety in general. I know 7 weeks is “too early” but I feel like the signs are there 🤷‍♀️

This is bonkers. He's seven weeks. Chill out.

I despair for humanity and this autism diagnosis is going to be the end of us all.

OP - your baby is 7 weeks old. You need to speak to a professional about regular child development so you don't diagnose your child with something and miss out on their infanthood with imaginary issues.

I am saying this with kindness.

I do have very bad anxiety and health anxiety in general.

I think this is most likely.

According to a quick google, babies don't even start this until 2-3 months old.

I hope you are getting help for your anxiety.

Congratulations on your new arrival.

Both the GP and the health visitor seem very focused on the fact he is not smiling yet.. keep being asked my every professional “has he smiled yet” and having to say no.

Google for smiling says average 6-8 weeks, though can be up to 12 weeks old.

You have told your HV about your anxiety, haven't you?

Are you looking at a lot of SM @Ccjjc? It seems very focused on pushing ASD as a possibility sometimes.

If you are looking at it a lot, can you try and step back a little? Maybe search for some positive things like the fourth trimester, baby mooning or local walks you can do with your lovely new LO now that the days are getting warmer and the nights lighter

Are you getting out and mixing with some other local Mums too? I found having a bit of structure and some adult conversation really helped.

When you say that the HV and GP are very focused on your LO not smiling yet, what have they said? Is the HV due to see you again?

Nothing you’ve said sounds outside of normal for such a tiny baby. Remember that the guidelines for babies hitting milestones are averages, so some babies will smile earlier, some will smile ‘on time’ and others will take a bit longer.
As someone who worried about my first babies development (he did things entirely in his own way - didn’t crawl, walked at 9 months etc), I really urge you to try to stop worrying about things. Easier said than done, I know. But I spent a whole chunk of time comparing my baby to others and worrying about his development. And all it did was take away the joy from what he was doing, and our time together. You will miss out on so so much enjoyment with your baby if you spend time looking into every single thing he is / isn’t doing. You’ll realise that all babies develop differently and at their own pace.
You cannot tell at 7 weeks old if your child has autism.
It’s probably also worth mentioning your anxiety to your HV as they can support you with it. And try to sign up to some baby groups as they’re a great way to meet other parents and they can support you too.

Just popped back to say that I do agree with talking to your HV about your anxiety too. You might also benefit from talking to Pandas Foundation as they might ne able to support you too.

This isn’t to gaslight you though. I knew from around 12 months that my DD wasn’t developing quite how I thought she would and got told time and time again that I was imagining it. She did later end up with a diagnosis of AuDHD but at 7 weeks I would really just try and enjoy your baby as much as you can.

I agree with everyone else that this is probably your health anxiety talking, and that virtually everything you describe is typical tiny baby behaviour. That's why they make the black and white patterned toys and cards!

With the smiling and tracking objects, it is something they need to check for, but typical development is a range, so it doesn't automatically mean there's a problem if baby hasn't done bang on 6 weeks. Also, what gestation was baby born at? Even if they're both technically full term, a baby born at 37 weeks will tend to be a bit later than one born at 42 weeks.

I can understand why you’re worried, it’s so easy to overthink everything with a tiny baby. At 7 weeks, a lot of what you’re describing is actually very normal, especially not making much eye contact or being drawn to lights and black-and-white toys. The fact he looks at that toy is a good sign, and little smiles can still be a bit random at this age. It does sound like your anxiety might be making it feel bigger than it is. If you’re unsure, you could mention it to your health visitor, but honestly nothing here sounds unusual right now.

There is quite a lot of evidence that parental mental health issues have adverse effects on childhood development so you need to address that. Your child sounds fine.

My non-autistic son was much as you describe and smiled at 6.5 weeks.

My autistic son gave far better eye contact and smiled at 3 weeks.

I think you should relax. If he's autistic you will know in the fullness of time, and you can deal with it then.