Hello parents,
I just joined to seek more personal advice on what to do in my situation. I've read a few threads related to my concerns however I feel I need more specifics.
Okay. My son turns 5 this June and there are a few things I feel I need help with (in order)
- Bathtime
Getting this child to bathe is like washing the devil with holy water. I've tried shower, I've tried bath with bubbles and toys. He will fight me, run around the house to get away from me to get in the bath. And in the shower he will cry that the water is getting in his hair. The water is not boiling and it is not cold. We have hot climate all year round and on the days he had been playing outside and you can physically see dirt on his feet he is willing to bathe. But on the days you can't see the dirt he tells me he is not dirty and he doesn't want a bath. After tons of negotiations and resistance, he will wail in the bathroom and I have to hold him down just to get through.
- Bedtime struggles.
I do it all. Winddown, no electronics an hour before. Room dark and cool, favourite toy, favourite blanket. He will still fight going to bed. Will cry. Will need a drink. Which leads to another issue.
- Peeing the bed.
My son is 5 and still wears diapers only at night.😪 He goes to the bathroom before bed but he still wets his bed. I know it must be because he likes a warm drink in bed but without that drink he will take even longer to sleep. I've tried giving him the drink before bed but he wants it IN bed otherwise no. I have to sleep next to him on his bed (no cuddling) and wait till he falls asleep. Forget about doing this at 8pm. It has to be well passed 9:30pm otherwise he will physically wake up from the bed and go to the living room. He knows how to turn on the lights and navigate the TV. He tells me point blank he's not sleepy. I just don't want to see him cry every night to sleep. Which leads to another issue.
- Waking up early.
This child absolutely detest school.
Every morning is a stressful time for the both of us. No matter how gently I wake him up he will not get up. This is likely because he's not getting quality sleep from all the resistance of going to bed the night before and it makes me late for work everyday. I wake him up an hour before he needs to be out of bed. That's the first alarm. Every 15 minutes from then I wake him up. He will move and open his eyes turn to the side and SNORE. Sometimes I have to dress him in the bed. Sometimes we even skip tooth brushing and bathing. Real talk. His school is 10 minutes by car from our house but the traffic is a nightmare. So I have to cut corners most of the time. Im not proud please don't scold me. He will sit in the car not wanting to go inside the school. I have to pick him up and bring him in his class in my arms. 21kg kid. And when puts down he will fall on the floor in a tantrum. He tells me he hates school. I've investigated the school. I've changed him schools before. He does this everywhere he goes even when he was in daycare he did not like to go. I know separation anxiety is real but he is 5 years old and should be use to this by now. Luckily he likes only 1 of his teacher and she tells me that he is well after I had left. He is even the top of his class in maths. I feel like my son either hates me or enjoys the rackets he puts me through.
I've tried to be gentle, I've tried to be stern. I've given ultimatums, I've tried making it playful, I've tried asking him what he wants to do, I've tried explaining the importance of school, sleep and bathing. I've encouraged him to use the bathroom when he wants to go at night. It's not working out. Besides these things he is a sweet boy. Loving, gives me hugs often, we say I love you, he communicates well, he makes me laugh too. He loves to draw me and the family. I just don't understand. 😓