I have two daughters with a big age gap. eldest is 12 and younger is 5. The older one has always been very jealous of the little one. I make lots of time for both of them and have always given the older one alone time with me. Dd2 would love for dd1 to do things with her but she won’t. The only time dd1 really interacts with dd2 is to tell her off for things or snigger when she’s upset about something. Dd2 is not an angel and can be a bit annoying as a lot of five year olds are. I’ve tried doing activities like crafting and art which they both enjoy with them but it either turns into an argument or dd1 just ignores dd2 through the whole activity. She never acts like a big sister either. The opposite really, she will wind her up doing things like saying she’ll race her to the end of the street but never let dd2 ‘win’. If they’re kicking a football around in the garden dd1 won’t let her have the ball. A major challenge at the moment is that dd1 wants sleepovers with her friends here but dd2 gets really upset that she’s shut out and I’m dealing with a crying five year old for hours until I can get her into bed. I realise that dd1 needs to have her friends. She had a bit of a rough time in y6 and I’m glad she’s got some friends now but I’m wondering if I should be saying until she’s a bit more helpful and nicer to her little sister I’m not hosting her friends here. I always do a lot when she has friends over to make it fun ( pizza, snacks, cute activities…) and I’m starting to feel that dd1 doesn’t really deserve it. On the other hand I worry that will just breed more resentment. I know my eldest very well and I have this horrible feeling that she will never come round to a relationship with dd2. It really makes me feel so sad. I’ve tried talking to dd1 about this many times but she just shuts down and goes off in a huff. Does anyone have any ideas, experience or advice?